Lost In the Prairies.....Found by God

Does this resemble you?  I know it does me.  I am non functional without my first cup of coffee.  I go crazy and have no patience.  When the kids are at me in the mornings and I haven't had my first cup, I usually say to them that they need to calm down until I get my coffee.  That first sip is like a drug.  I feel it's warming calmness cursing through me.  I can breathe.  I feel like I can face any giant that is thrown my way.  When I don't get that cup of coffee watch out.

Last summer we went camping.  Since I am the only one who drinks coffee in our family, I decided to try instant coffee on the trip that way I wouldn't waste a lot of coffee. We were only going for a two night trip.  I could handle this.  By the way, I also decided that I would wait until we got home on Sunday to shower as well.  I could rough it for the short time.  Saturday morning I made a cup of the instant coffee and tried to stomach it.  I did my best but the stuff was awful.  It was not potable.  I spent Saturday in the camp site.  I usually read a lot while we camp.  Sunday morning I tried to make a cup of coffee.  I felt disgusting and dirty.  The coffee was undrinkable.  I was cranky and miserable.  I made sure everyone knew it too.  I was not a "beautiful" person that morning.  My husband handed me some money and a towel and said to go get coffee at the campsite's coffee shop and a shower.  I listened to him and felt so much better and more peaceful.  Everyone was safe again and the whole world was happy, or at least I was.

If you think coffee and I have had a long love affair, you would actually be wrong.  I didn't start drinking coffee until  grade 12 when I was introduced to mochas.  I would make hot chocolate and add a bit of coffee to taste.  It was yummy.  After that coffee slowly "wormed" it's way into my life.  When I started working with lawyers it became quickly apparent that I needed something.  I started drinking coffee more.  Actually it was more of a cafe au lait style coffee with two teaspoons of sugar.  I don't think I could drink it today as it would be disgusting, but back then it was all I could handle.  I drank my coffee like that for years.  In fact I had my favourite mug, it was a plastic Elmo mug.  It was so cute.  I still have that mug, the kids love to use it.  

When I started attending church I started drinking coffee even more.  Of course they didn't have cream so I had to drink it with two spoonfuls of powdered coffee creamer.  This was beginning of my regular coffee drinking life, but I could still live without it.  Ask my Evil Twin who while we were garage saling informed me that I needed to get her coffee ASAP or we couldn't continue.  When I became pregnant with Thomas I found I needed to drink a cup of coffee a day and after I had him I needed to drink at least two a day, not that I am blaming him.  I also found that I loved lattes, especially pumpkin spice ones.  

Since becoming a coffee drinker I have also learned to be weary of those who don't drink coffee.  Not that I dislike them, but some non-coffee drinkers do look down on us who need the quick shot.  I was involved in a playgroup, where the facilitator didn't drink coffee and didn't know how to make it.  I to this day don't know how she can get through the day with her son without it.  Coffee is my crutch.  My go to.  It makes me calm and relaxed.  I suppose the way I'm talking about coffee would be like someone who smokes.  I will admit that I'm probably addicted.  Luckily my addiction is legal.

When my coffee machine broke early this fall, I had to buy a new one right away.  What would I do with out my beloved coffee?  This Christmas my sister and grandmother gave me my new beloved - a Keruig.  It was the first thing unpacked once we got home.  It has made it that much easier to get coffee.  

The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work and prayerless religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray (Samuel Chadwick)

Since I last posted in Caffeinated Randomness, life has been moving at a fast past.  Last Friday I woke up realizing that the coding for both Photobucket and LinkyTools was off.  I had slept in and didn't have enough time to fix it before dropping Nic off at school.  So after I dropped Nicole off, I quickly went in and fixed all the coding and editing.  Good thing I did, my hubby noticed that I missed #3 of Random Things I needed to list.  I had grandeous plans to catch up on my Bible Study and reading.  Instead, I cleaned up a bit and then went and played Kinex Adventures with Thomas.  River Rafting was a work out.  It was fun and something I need to do with the kids more often.  After lunch, instead of doing what I should have been doing I watched Star Wars with Thomas.  I was so excited as I have been waiting to watch it with one of the kids.  I am a big Star Wars freak and watched it when I was 4 for the first time.  I can't wait to watch more of them with him.  Friday night I made a quick dinner and then I watched Coureageous.  It made me think that what I did during the day was way more important than cleaning.

Saturday, I decided to spend the day with Nicole and go for lunch and thirft store shopping.  By unanimous vote we went for sushi.  It was so yummy.  I got to teach Nicole about the value of a dollar and how to spend her money wisely.  She bought a purse and wallet and loves to carry them around with her every where now.  I was going to read all the links for Caffeinated Randomness on Saturday night, instead, I started feeling ill.  I ended up in bed early and suffered all night.  Turns out I had a slight case of food poisining.  Sushi tried to kill me.  I was ill Sunday as well.  I counldn't do anything but lay on the couch and watch tv.  I had no energy and couldn't focus on anything.  

Monday I was still ill, but had to get things done.  I ended up having a meeting with Thomas' Occupational Therapist for an hour.  She gave me some good tips on our potty issues.  I'm hoping these work as he will be going to school full time in two weeks.  I want him to fit in with the other kids and not be ostracized.  I then got to skype into Andrea's baby shower.  It was great to see everyone, even though they couldn't hear me at all.  That evening the naseau came back and I took it easy.

Tuesday, I got to visit a friend from Saskatoon who was in town getting ready to fly out for a vacation in Pheonix, Arizona.  It was a good visit but too quick.  I rushed back to get Nicole and go do some grocery shopping.  Came home and made dinner.  By the end I was tired.  It didn't help too that Sam spilt juice on the floor and decided to play with playdough on the carpet.  I will admit that I was at my wits end and almost lost it on the little guy.  I got everything cleaned up and put him to bed.   

The craziness continued on Hump-Day as well.  I viewed a centre based program for Sam which has left me questioning what is best for him.  Then to waste a little time between appointments, ok I had a lunch date planned, I went to Ikea.  I love to wonder Ikea looking for ideas.  I also found some cute little candles that smell like green apples.  I can't wait to start burning them around the house and prepping the house for spring.  I just need to finish the pumpkin spice candle.  I think I will burn it tomorrow and see if I can burn it out.  My lunch date was with a friend that I haven't visited with in a while.  Her life is just as busy as mine as she is trying to finish her education degree.  She made us a delicious cream of broccoli soup.  I rushed home from lunch to pick the kids up at school and then had to drop two of them off at home to my sister in law as it was Student Led Conferences for Kindergarten.  That was interesting.  I basically followed around Thomas (believe me it was following as he was running from station to station) and he showed me what they have been working on.  I am very proud of my middleman as he knows so much about planets and loves music class. 

My Wednesday ended with me attending a workshop for speech therapy for Sam.  I was the only parent waiting for an ASD diagnosis and with a diagnosis.  I think I may have scared some of the parents.  There was a couple there where the husband kept making jokes about this being their Valentines Date.  It was a great evening.  I wasn't expecting to learn a lot, but I did.  I even got to goal set.  My goal is to get Sam from mimicry of words to comprehension of the words.  I am going to look into the PEC system to see if this will work for us. 

I thought I would finally get a break on Thursday as my respite worker was coming in the morning.  My quick hideout to write the blog ended up being hijacked by Skype.  My aunt called and we had a nice visit, without interruptions.  I then started to make the meals promised to my friends aunt.  I made 3 meals in 1/2 an hour.  I had the Literacy for Life people visit as they will be assisting me in creating a program for the boys.  I'm excited to see how this goes.

So now I am writing the blog at 9 pm.  I'm exhausted and tired.  I'm surprised that I survived this week or did I survive?  I am weary.  I am exhausted.  I am frustrated.  I am overwhelmed.  Some people may see this week and see the highs and lows.  They may focus on the positive I did.  I however am seeing what I didn't do.  I rarely prayed this week, although I got my study done daily.  I praised God in song, but didn't talk to Him.  I ignored Him.  I rushed by Him, just like I did my kids and husband this week.  I feel like I gave everyone little bits of me and forgot to ask for the pieces back.  I need to refocus and think about how to make my life fuller and content.  I need to stop stretching myself thin.  I am not taffy.  I am bending, but bending to the point of almost cracking.  Tomorrow I am catching up.  I will be catching up on housework that has desperately been lacking, but also on my reading.  I am going to set some time aside to read my Bible and pray.  I need to fill myself up with fuel.  I need to take all my angst and give it God and let Him figure out the next steps.  I have been too busy doing that I have forgotten to let go and rest in the one who fills.  I think as moms we all do this.  We think we need to move, move, move, where really God is calling us to sit down (with a cup of coffee) and talk to Him.

I focused on physical friends this week, but forgot about the most important friend.  A lesson I have learned the hard way.

Has there been a time where you have been going and hit the wall running?  Have you been spending time with God and working on your relationship with Him?

Come link in this week with all your craziness this week.