Lost In the Prairies.....Found by God

You go to church on Sunday. Hurting. Struggling with the trials you face. They may be raising special needs children. They may be health issues. They may be loss of a job or loss of a family member. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. An acquaintance comes up to you to say hi and asks how you are doing? You answer: “Fine” with an awkward smile. LIAR! You are not fine. You are not doing ok.

From your view the acquaintance looks great. Doesn't seem to have a hair out of place. She replies, “Great, I'm doing fine as well.” LIAR. You don't know what lies beneath that facade. Broken marriage. Financial struggles. Depression.

Neither of you is being authentic with the other. Neither of you is willing to lay aside your pride and your insecurities to be honest with each other. You are not willing to admit humility and ask for help.

Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. (James 5:16 Msg)

It should be our common practice to be open and honest with each other. How can we be whole? How can we be healed if we aren't honest and authentic?  Why do we allow ourselves to lie to each other when we are called to be people of the truth?  I think it is because we are spending too much time on our facades. The view that we want people to see. The view that we want people to think we are. The view we wish we were.

I am not just finding this at church, but also in the blogosphere or anywhere else I meet Christians. We all wear this facade. We don't allow ourselves to be authentic because we don't want to be judged. But then we become what we didn't want to become – judgers. We start to judge ourselves on a perception and not on a truth. We start to judge others on the same perceptions. We allow ourselves to be valued not on authenticity but on illusion. That person seems to have it all; why don't I? That person has no idea what I face on a daily basis. That person must have a housekeeper, her house can't be that clean by itself.  On and on goes the judging and the lies, until we end up like the Pharisees. Self righteous people trying to be holy and failing miserably.

It is my belief that we as Christians are not willing to embrace our own messes or others messes. It is too messy. It is too scary. Too real. What will people think?  What will people expect from us when we start being honest. I was once told by a friend that another acquaintance thought my house was immaculate. That I did not have any dirt anywhere. She told me this while we were cleaning for my move. I quickly pulled out one of the beds and revealed the dust and dirt that had been under there for 4 years. See we all have that dirt. It is just hiding.

I struggle with being authentic. I have troubles with asking for help.  I do not want to burden people with my mess.   I rarely ask for prayer.  I rarely allow people to see the real messy me. The weak me.  Most people see me as a strong individual. Someone to have fun with. Someone who can be brutally honest. But how honest am I when I don't share with those who are close to me. When I don't allow them into my messes.  Am I selling myself and others short when I don't share?  How can I expect others to share with me their brokenness and pain, as well as their triumphs, when I am reluctant to do the same.  

I just started reading "So Long, Insecurity" by Beth Moore. It is already speaking to me. Beth suggests that some of the reasons for our insecurities come from trust issues with God. I think this is also the reason we struggle with authenticity. We don't truly trust God and we don't truly trust each other. How many friendships have we lost because of a perceived betrayal?  How many times have we been let down by people who don't meet our expectations?  How many times have we let people down?  But you see God never lets us down.   He is always with us.  He loves us just for who we are and not for what we are.   He loves us because of our messes. He wants our messes. He embraces our messes.

If we want true relationship with Jesus and each other we need to admit our weaknesses.  We need to embrace them and be authentic with each other and ourselves about them.  We need to show people that we are not doing “fine.” We need to allow Jesus to break down the facades we have built up and allow people into our messes. They may not know how to handle it. That's ok.  God does. Our friends and acquaintances may not know what to do or to say. Admit it. We don't have all the answers. God does. If we don't have the words, pray. You don't have to pray right there but let them know that you will pray for them and actually do it. Ask others to pray with you. Nothing will be solved unless we start handing God our messes and allow others to do the same.

We are meant to be in community with each other. But unless we can truly be authentic with each other, what kind of community are we building? 

I am linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood this week at Finding Heaven.  

Lean on Me, When you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on.

That time is now!  I have been struggling.  I have been under a fog of cloud and dealing with trials that are no one's fault, they are just the cards dealt to us.  I need to "swallow my pride" and let people know exactly what I need.  I need to accept that I am not superwoman, but that I'm imperfect  just like the rest of us.  I need to acknowledge that no everything is not fine, but that everything will be fine.  I have trusted God and asked for His help and guidance.  But don't allow my friends and church family to assist me, as they have allowed me to assist them.

The problem, I'm not sure what I need.  An hour alone.  A meal.  Laundry being done (ok, that might just be a little selfish).   I'm not sure how to let go.  There's a humbling of oneself to realize you need to become dependent and let go of your independence.  Funny enough this is something that I speak to my evil twin about.  She has had to do this as her sight has faded.  There is that surrender.  That we can't do it alone.  That we do need to lean on others. 

We are part of a body.  We are not the foundation, that spot has already been taken by Jesus.  We are but the parts.  We cannot excist alone.  We are all a part of a community.  We were created to be in relationship - with Him and with each other.  When we don't accept help, we essentially are saying that we don't need that relationship.  We are saying that we are in control, which is a lie.  We are not in control of anything.  God is.  It's when we think we are in control that we feel like we are losing control. 

We need to rely on each other.  We need to realize that we are not alone.  We need to surrender and embrace the dependance.  Just as I need to rely on my friends the way I let them "lean on me."

Linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood.

These last few months I have been witness to some serious stone throwing.   I have seen and read things that make me laugh, get upset, roll my eyes, become defensive and get angry over. It's something that I believe most of us, including me, are guilty of - judging our sisters in Christ.

While reading "Get Out of the Pit" by Beth Moore, she talks about being called out because she purchased flavoured creamer and someone believed that she was "spiking" the coffee.

What is going on?  When did we all go back to Junior High?  Is there a book for the Old Queen Bees and Yesterday's Wannabees?  Is there going to be a Housewives of the Blogosphere?

Now before you all get upset, I'm pulling the "plank" out of my eye right now. I admit it. I'm as guilty as the next person. I judged a fellow blogger who changed her blog's direction to something I disagreed with. I judged a fellow believer for not volunteering in church when we are struggling to get volunteers. I judged ....while I'm sure you're aware of where this going.

God Commands each of us not to judge others:

There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor? (James 4:12 NIV)

Take it from me, when you judge others, it opens up the floodgates.  Not just in regards to you being judged, but all the other sins that come with it - envy, anger, unforgiveness, coveting......  I have to ask myself - WHY?  What do I get out of it?  What are my reasons?  Is it worth it?  It all starts with a lie that Satan tells us.  It's never done in the light, bur always in the dark behind others backs.  Sometimes it even starts with:  "Not that I'm judging, but...."  Really, what else do you call it?

Chew on this for minute:  It's a reflection of our own hearts. 

For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. (Matthew 12:34b NIV)

That's right - What we say is a reflection of our own pain, insecurities and failures. 

God calls us to be united in Christ.  He speaks about us being 1 body in 1 Corinthians 12:  12-27.  We are each a part arranged exactly where we are needed to be.  In fact, each of us needs the other.  If one of us falls, we all fall.  If one of us takes a stand in support of another, we all stand strong and unbreakable.

I urge us all to humble ourselves and support, lift up, encourage, and always speak God's truth and love to each other.  We represent God to a broken and unbelieving world.  We are all His representatives.  I take a stand now to turn from the juvenile and immature ways that give me a false sense of self and to start being the grown up and take responsibility for my actions.  Are you joining me?