Lost In the Prairies.....Found by God

The fog has returned.  The fog that sometimes drifts down and makes everything fuzzy.  It permeates through my day.  I walk around lost and in a daze.  I have no energy.  I have no motivation.  I just want to lay in bed and read or watch Mad Men (I'm almost done season 4).  

This is what it feels like.  I'm traveling down a road I can't see.  I can't see.  I don't know what to reach for or look for.   I feel lost.  I feel unsure.  I feel lonely.  I feel tired.

I have been trying to focus on going to forward.  I have been trying to focus on the Father and praying for wisdom and focus.   I have been trying to trust Him and His plan for our lives.  But it is hard.  I want to scream.  I want to sit and cry.  I want to lose it.  Instead I dance.

I know it's silly isn't it.  It's not very spiritual.  It's not really what they tell you to do when you are depressed, for that is truly what the fog is.  I dance.  I put on 90s dance music and somehow the music moves me - literally.  I can't even explain why it's 90s dance music and not some other decade.  I can't explain why.  It's not even worship music.  There's nothing deep about it.  There's nothing meaningful in it.  Just music.  Just a beat that makes me want to move.  I hope I'm not alone.  Let's dance!

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