Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts
Friday, April 27, 2012
Caffeinated Randomness - The Fog and The Music
1:05 PM | Posted by
Michelle |
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The fog has returned. The fog that sometimes drifts down and makes everything fuzzy. It permeates through my day. I walk around lost and in a daze. I have no energy. I have no motivation. I just want to lay in bed and read or watch Mad Men (I'm almost done season 4).
This is what it feels like. I'm traveling down a road I can't see. I can't see. I don't know what to reach for or look for. I feel lost. I feel unsure. I feel lonely. I feel tired.
I have been trying to focus on going to forward. I have been trying to focus on the Father and praying for wisdom and focus. I have been trying to trust Him and His plan for our lives. But it is hard. I want to scream. I want to sit and cry. I want to lose it. Instead I dance.
I know it's silly isn't it. It's not very spiritual. It's not really what they tell you to do when you are depressed, for that is truly what the fog is. I dance. I put on 90s dance music and somehow the music moves me - literally. I can't even explain why it's 90s dance music and not some other decade. I can't explain why. It's not even worship music. There's nothing deep about it. There's nothing meaningful in it. Just music. Just a beat that makes me want to move. I hope I'm not alone. Let's dance!
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- Michelle
- Alberta, Canada
- I'm a 39 year old (oh yeah I'm telling you my age) Stay at Home mom. A former Bad Girl now reformed sinner, I'm married to my Y2K guy and raising 3 great children from God. Proudly Canadian, however, missing the West Coast, I currently live in the prairies watching the farmers fields produce as I learn how God produces the fruits in me.








