Lost In the Prairies.....Found by God

This December has been one of many struggles for my family - depression, slipped disk, GSI, loss of assistance, etc...  It's getting to the point where even my friends are asking how much more can we take.   

It doesn't only feel like we are going through this either.  You only have to watch to news to see that things aren't right.  That people are struggling.  That hurt is abound.  That evil is attacking us.   After the shootings at Sandy Hook School, a friend questioned if this wasn't God's plan.  I don't believe it was.  God has a plan for each and every one of us.  Plans to prosper not to harm.  Plans with a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)  All of this isn't in God's plan.  God doesn't want us to hurt or be in pain.  All this is about darkness.

Christmas is about light.  We light a candle each week to represent - hope, love, joy, and peace.   These little flames represent the light that Christ brought to our world with His birth.  It's not about defeat or darkness.  But that's what the enemy wants us to believe.  He wants us to focus on despair and pain.  He wants us to focus on stress and crowds.  He wants us to focus on consumption and overindulgence.  He wants us to focus on Elf on the Shelf and not the missing baby in the Nativity Scene.  The enemy wants us to think that he's won.  

In the world we live in it's easy to fall into his trap.  Children killed.  Old hostilities ignited.  Politics over shadowing reconciliation.  Debt looming.  Countries close to bankruptcy.  People losing jobs.  I could go on.  It's to the point where I don't want to watch the news anymore.  There doesn't appear to be anything good in the world, if you believe the news makers.

But Love is alive in a breath.  A teacher sacrificing herself for her students.  Hope is alive in a simple random act of kindness of sharing a free coffee with the car behind you.  Peace is reflected in people gathering to help those who need help by providing food and necessities no matter their background or faith.  Joy is reflected in the eyes and giggle of child in the arms of a family member as they celebrate Jesus' birth.  The enemy hasn't won.  Christ's gift is still here.  

Earlier this year I read Ann Voskamp's A Thousand Gifts.   This book made me think of the little things instead of the big.  We all want to look for God in the larger things, but He is just as strong in the small.  Remember the mustard seed.  If we want to move the mountain we need to see him in the speck of dust around us.  We are looking for Him in a large light, but He's there in the lowly flame of a small candle.  We need to trust that He is there.  Because He is.

We are all facing the darkness instead of focusing on the light.  We have wandered and are now lost.  We need only to turn around and see the child lying in the manger to know who won and continues to fight on our behalf.  We need to focus on the light of the world who came out of darkness.

"Light of the World

Earlier this week, I felt like I was out of control.  OK, not just felt like it, I was out of control.  I felt like I had so much to do.  I hadn't started Christmas baking yet.  I hadn't started Christmas shopping yet.  I was dealing with some family issues.  I just didn't know when I was going to get time to do everything.  I just was so tense and frustrated.  I wanted to curl up and hide and just sleep through this season.  

But, Christmas is coming.....

Tuesday morning, I sat and did my Good Morning Girl study for the day (of which I haven't posted yet).  It was based on Nehemiah 8:10.  

I felt defeated and beaten.  Of course I was tired.  That's what happens in battle.  You get tired.  You get weary.  But His JOY will give us the strength to go on and hold on.  When we are in the trials it is hard to recognize this.  We are too focused to see the light.  Everything seems overwhelming and dark.  We need to focus on the light.  We need to find it even when it seems like embers in a dying fire.  It's still light and has the possibility of turning into a raging forest fire.  

This season is about the light.   God brought his Joy into the world.  Jesus is the light and Joy that gives us strength when we don't know how we will get through.  He brightens our way and leads us through the darkness.  He enables us to go on, when we don't think we are able to.  

I've been leaning on the lyrics of the Plumb song "Need You Now."   We all need Him now.  We all need to search for Him, whether in the light of a manager or the shadow of the cross.  He is there.  He is calling us.  He wants to bring us Joy.  We just need to ask for it and embrace it.  

"Need You Now (How Many Times)"

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
So, I guess you're tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take

How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

I need you now
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now

Are you searching for the light?  Are you calling out?  Come link up with the other Java Junkies this week with your randomness.

I've spent the day trying to think about what to write about.  The last few years I have had challenges for everyone for the Christmas Season.  Best Decorations.  Best Christmas Story.  Holiday Traditions.  You get my point.   This year I have .......Nothing.  

I have tried to avoid Christmas this year.  I didn't want to think about it.  I called the neighbour down the road crazy for putting up her Christmas decorations the day after Halloween (you have to give me that one.)  Every time there is a Christmas countdown mentioned, I just want to scream.  It's not that I have not thought about it or prepared.  I have a pretty good idea of what I am getting everyone.  I even took part in Black Friday to purchase a new Keurig for my mother in law.  Waiting in front of Walmart at 7 am in -10C was exhilarating to say the least.   There were 10 of us who braved it and nobody got hurt.  I digress....

It's not that I dislike Christmas.  I love Christmas.  I love the smells.  I love the lights.  I love the traditions.  I just don't like the stress; the expectations; and the family strife that occurs during the season.  I love surprising my kids with their gifts.  I love sitting by the tree, mesmerized by the light.  I love watching the Christmas shows (The Drummer Boy is still my favourite).  I dislike the mess.  I dislike phony sentiments.  I dislike the commercialism that it has become.

Christmas as a kid and Christmas as an adult are different.  I now know why my grandmother breathed a sigh of relief, along with a glass of wine, after Christmas dinner.  I know the stress of getting that perfect gift so that you can see the light in their eyes Christmas morning.  I know how tired my feet feel after spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day standing in preparation of a meal that is done in 1 hour.  I too know how good that glass of wine is when all is said and done.  

However, I also know the true reason for the season.  I love watching my kids every day of advent create the nativity scene.  I love when they finally get to put out baby Jesus on Christmas Eve.  I love reading them their Christmas books about joy, compassion, hope, and love.  I know why Christmas occurs and the sacrifice made for us to experience it.  I know that Jesus came with little fanfare and little glory.  The hype that Christmas has become almost cheapens this.  I enjoy the simple.  I enjoy the less.  

This week I finally let the Christmas decorations out early so that I could start to light our Advent candles.  Yes, I'm early but I have been doing the Good Morning Girls Advent Study and this week was on the light.  I wanted to see the light.  The simple candle burning for all to see.  The light representing the hope that was brought into the world.  The simple flame.  The flame that grew to burn around the world.  The flame that continues to burn.  The flame that guides us.  The flame that shines upon each of us.  This is really Christmas.  

This season of advent.  I'm going to look for the simple amongst all the paraphernalia.  I'm going to focus on the flame burning and what that flame represents.  I'm going to focus on the positive in the negative.  I'm going to not become burned out.  I'm going to try to not become Scrooge and allow my heart to be open and not shut.  Won't you join me? 

Have you been avoiding Christmas too?  What are you looking for this season?  Come join the other Java Junkies this week and share in the Christmas Randomness.

 

This has been a bad week.  I have been struggling.  I have felt tired.  I have felt like I am treading water through stormy seas.  I have felt lifeless.  I have felt alone.

I know these feelings are just that feelings.  They are not truth, but lies that the enemy wants me to believe and embrace.  He wants me to feel like I am in the darkness, the cold.  He wants me to feel alone.  He wants me to draw away from Truth.  He wants me to be in the shawdows.  He wants me to be in the cold.  

These feelings come from a lot of places.  My life.  My past.  My future.   Life is tough.  There are no easy answers.   It is full of uncertainties.  You can never be sure of what you will be given.  You can never be sure of what you will face.  You can either live in the pit or we can jump and take air.  

This week I was taught that by my kids.  We had a large snow fall last week and like typical Southern Alberta weather, we have gone from -10 C to 5 C within a few days.  The snow is melting but it makes great sledding possibilities.  There was no wind on Tuesday and the sun was struggling to come out.  A friend and I decided to take the kids sledding.  We dragged our sleds to the school and walked to the hill.  My kids immediately climbed up the hill and went down.  

I went down the hill a few times.  At first it was frightening.  I was scared.  I wasn't going to be in control.  I was going to go fast.  I could flip off the sled.  I could sled into someone.  These things were going through my head.  I was allowing my fears to control me.

My friend dared me to go down the part of the hill where the kids had built a jump.  I took the dare.  I pushed myself off and flew.  I had no control.  I could have gotten hurt.  I could have.......and I took air.  It was exhilerating.  It was refreshing.   It was life changing.   I had pushed passed the lies that Satan had told me about that hill.  

Or you can persevere through the struggles that you face and keep pushing yourself through those obstacles.