Showing posts with label Messy Mondays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Messy Mondays. Show all posts
Monday, January 21, 2013
Messy Monday - Zechariah
If you have been following our messy list, you would think that this weeks messy would be Noah. However, you would be wrong. We are going to skip over....ok, way over to the book of Luke for our next messy, Zechariah.
Now Zechariah was a priest who lived in the time of Herod. He was married to Elizabeth. They both lived according to God "careful in keeping to the ways of the commandments and enjoying a clear conscience before God." (Luke 1:6 Msg) (I wonder if I will ever be described this way?) Yet, they were childless. In fact, it states that this was Elizabeth's fault. I always wonder in situations like this how they knew? Did Zechariah have other children from a previous marriage or relationship? Why blame poor Elizabeth solely?...but I digress.
According to custom Zechariah was chosen to go to the Holy of Holies in the temple and burn incense The angel of God appeared to Him.
When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth. Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” (Luke 1:12-17 NIV84)
Then Zechariah sealed his own fate at being called a messy in the next line:
Zechariah asked the angel, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.” (Luke 1:18 NIV84)
Ouch! This is actually one of the nicer translations. The Amplified states "By what shall I know and be sure of this?" While the Message is pretty to the point "Do you expect me to believe this?" For a man who was supposed to know God's word, he forgot the story of Abraham and Sarah and the blessing they received in their old age. He actually questions God's representative and in that God Himself. As a punishment for his unbelief he lost his ability to speak. Everyone would see how he and Elizabeth had been blessed but he wouldn't be able to tell them the whole blessing for all of them.
As God told Abraham and Sarah (Gen 18:14) and later to Mary (Lk 1:37): Nothing is impossible with God. God created the world from nothing. God gave Abraham and Sarah Isaac. God lead Israel to Egypt to provide for them during a famine. God lead Israel out of Egypt. God provided Israel with sage judges, leaders and prophets. God provided Esther with the opportunity to save her people. God....you get my drift - NOTHING!!!! We need to make the choice of choosing to believe as Mary did or to fight and question as Zechariah did.
I have to admit that I am like Zechariah. I want to question and argue with God a lot. Especially in regards to my children:
Why does my son have autism?These are a few of the questions I have cried out to God. I have even tried to bargain with Him before my youngest was diagnosed.
Why is my youngest autistic as well?
Why does my daughter have to face this alone?
Once the infant was born, everybody was going to name him Zechariah, after his dad. Elizabeth said no that his name was John (Luke 1:61). They then went to Zechariah.
Then they made signs to his father, to find out what he would like to name the child. 63 He asked for a writing tablet, and to everyone’s astonishment he wrote, “His name is John.” 64 Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue was loosed, and he began to speak, praising God. (Luke1: 62-64 NIV 84).
Zechariah had become truly obedient and submitted to God. He had come to believe that nothing was impossible. He had the bouncy, puking, screaming, cute proof before him. He was set free from the bindings for his obedience. We too will be set free when we come to trust and obey God. We don't need to receive a huge blessing to see this. We can see it in the small blessings we receive When I was angry at God about my circumstances it was because I focused too much at the people around me. It seemed that many of my friends and family were having "normal" children. I questioned God as to why I was the statistic and not the "norm." I have come to realize that God just wanted me to focus on His blessings. All of them - big and small. I probably get more excited than other parents when my sons learn something, like putting their boots on or brushing their teeth. I have had to learn to trust God completely and to be content in the joy He does bring. For He will bring you blessings.
When we obey and submit to God, we too are fully blessed. It may not be in large things. It may be in the small things. Blessings you might ignore if you are waiting for something huge to happen.
What is God calling you to do?
What are you questioning God about?
How have you been released and blessed lately?
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Messy Monday - Cain & Abel
We all know the story of Cain and Abel. At first glance it appears to be a story of brother vs. brother. The good brother vs. the bad brother. We see this theme played out in multiple movies, books, and television shows (ie. Thor vs. Loki, JR vs Bobby, etc..). The theme is so ingrained in our culture that Kevin Leman thought he should call the Birth Order book, "Abel had it Coming!"
This story is really about sin. The messy ugly sin that can take control of our lives if we let it. In Genesis Chapter 4, we read that Abel kept flocks, while Cain "tilled" the land. Both brothers brought an offering to God. Cain brought the fruits of his labour as a farmer. Abel sacrificed one of his firstborn sheep. God honoured Abel's sacrifice, but not Cain's offering. Being an older sibling, I can tell you of the many times I felt this has happened to me, where it appeared that my younger sister got more than me or was favoured over me. I have felt angry, frustrated and jealous. I can imagine that this is exactly how Cain felt. You're the oldest, of course you should be favoured first. It's hard to see your younger sibling get something that yourself has not received.
God saw Cain's frustration and confronted him on it. He tells Cain that if he does what is good he can "hold his head high" (vs. 4-5 CJB). But.....there is always a but.....sin was crouching at his door. Waiting for him. Watching for him. Isn't that the way with sin. It waits for us and tempts us. We can choose to hold our head high or to fall into it. Hear that, we allow sin in our lives. We allow it control over us. It has no control unless we give it control.
And of course, Cain did not heed the warning. He led Abel to the fields and attacked and killed him. While the bible doesn't come right and say if this was a premeditated murder, the CJB version states:
Kayin had words with Hevel his brother; then one time, when they were in the field, Kayin turned on Hevel his brother and killed him. (Gen 4:8 CJB)
He may not have intended to kill, but He did take advantage of the situation. He took out all his frustrations, anger, pain and jealousies out on Abel. I can visualize both brothers during this. I can feel Cain's angst as I have been in this position and I can see Abel's fear and shock during the attack.
Notice how Cain took Abel out to the field so that what ever did occur would have no witnesses. But there was a witness. God saw all of it. Just as every parent does when they know their kids have done wrong and want them to confess and tell them, God questions Cain:
And the Lord said to Cain, Where is Abel your brother? And he said, I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper? (Gen 4:9 AMP)
God wants Cain to repent. He wants Cain to seek God's forgiveness and grace. He also wants Cain to be able to hold his head high in repentance I often wonder what Cain would have faced if he had done so. If he had immediately admitted to his crime. But that was not to be. Like most of us who have been caught in our sin, we want to blame someone else for our sin and hide from it. Cain was no different.
But face the music we must. God knows full well what happened and punishes Cain. But Cain still can't accept responsibility for his sin. He even complains about the punishment that he receives (v. 13). I hear that from my kids a lot when they are being punished. They don't see that the punishment fits the crime. No criminal ever does. They feel like they are being persecuted excessively for what they committed. It is because they don't take responsibility for their actions. They don't see the pain they cause and inflict. Our sins do not just affect our lives, they affect all of those around us. Ask a family member of an alcoholic or drug addict how it affects them.
God wants to show us grace. He wants to forgive us. But we need to take responsibility for our actions and face the music when it comes at us. When we sin, we need to immediately turn from it and ask God to forgive us and ask those around us to forgive us. When we are around something or people that would tempt us and lead us down a path of destruction, we need to turn from it. We need to choose to hold our heads up. We need to walk the path of righteousness with God.
What are is tempting you? What sins are you fighting? Have you asked God for forgiveness?
Monday, January 7, 2013
Messy Monday - The First Messy
“Let's start at the very beginning, a
very good place to start.......”
Ok, maybe not at the beginning but at
Chapter 3. That's Genesis Chapter 3 to be concise. To start our
journey on the messy, we need to see the start of the mess. I know we all know the story and I'm probably not
adding anything to it. But before you start to strip the layers of
mess around us and in us, we need to see where it started.
God had told Adam that he could eat
from any tree in the garden of Eden, except from the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil (Gen 2:16-17). I'm sure it was pretty
easy to do. I mean there were probably hundreds of fruit trees and
berry bushes and other edible plants. But isn't it always true that
the one thing you long for is the one thing you can't have. If you
face addictions with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food, etc..... you
long for it. You crave it. It seems to call you. I know when I
start a diet, the sweets seem to call me.
This time though it wasn't the fruit
that called to Adam and Eve it was a serpent. He knew what they
wanted. He knew what they craved and he knew just how to tempt them.
He quickly deceived Eve. He said "Did God really say "You must not
eat from any tree in the garden?" See how he twisted the truth. He was a
good dealer. "Just one hit won`t hurt you." Just one drink and you
can stop." Isn`t that what happens when we are addicted to something
we can`t have? We allow the craving to control us and become easily
deceived. Both Adam and Eve were deceived. I know Eve always gets the full rap for
the deception.
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye and also desirable for gaining, she too some and ate it. (Genesis 3:6 NIV84)
This one sentence has sentenced Eve to
take the full burden of original sin for millenia. But wait where
was Adam? Where was our hero when all this was taking place? Was he at another part of the garden?
She also gave some to her husband, who was with her and he ate it. (Genesis 3:7 NIV84)
He was right beside her, probably
listening to everything the serpent was saying. He just didn`t say
anything. He allowed everything to happen. He could have stopped
Eve. He could have stopped the serpent. But alas our hero was
flawed just as we all are. We all are witness to things that
shouldn`t be. We all know people struggling, but instead of standing
between them and what they struggle against, we enable and allow. We
are silent, just as Adam was silent.
We all know the consequences of the
disobedience to God. Adam and Eve were evicted from Eden. The
serpent was cursed. Adam was told instead of a life of luxury and
leisure, that he would now have to work for a living. Eve was told
that childbirth would be painful and that her desire would be for her
husband and that he would be the ruler over her. Oh the
consequences...... We still suffer from those consequences. Nothing
in life is easy. We face trials and heartaches. We struggle and
fight to survive. We witness horrors that we should never be witness
to. Children die. Friends fight for their lives from the ravages of
cancer. We watch as lives are taken through addictions. Families
break up. Money keeps people in servitude. People suffer from
depression and can`t find hope anywhere. But there is hope.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV84)
God loved Adam and Eve and He was sad
that He had to discipline them. As parents, we know that when we
discipline our children and have them face consequences, we take no
joy from it (ok, maybe once in a while). It hurts our hearts to tell
our children that they can`t do what they want because of their
actions. It hurts to take away something they love because they didn`t heed
our warnings or advice. But in all things there is grace.
God started working things out right
there in the beginning because of sin. God knew he would have to
make a sacrifice for his children to save them from their sins. In
fact, He sacrificed some of his creation to make skins for Adam and
Eve so that they would be clothed (Gen 21). However, the promise of
the greatest sacrifice He would make is in the curse of the serpent.
And I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel. (Gen 3:15 NIV84)
This is the first telling of
Jesus. You see, God doesn't let bad things happen. He didn`t cause
cancer. He doesn`t plan for children to be killed. He doesn`t allow
terrorists to kill innocents. But He is there in the bad things. He
guides and supports. He gives strength and peace and healing. It
may not look the way we want it, but He does bring it. When we are
focused on Him; when we lean on Him; when we seek Him; He is with
us. He will bring good from the bad. We are not alone when we are
in Him.
It is too easy in our
society to be deceived as Eve was. To close our eyes as Adam did.
When we cease to focus on the Father and obey Him we will walk down
the path that He did not chose for us. However, if we obey Him and
focus on Him, He will give us the strength to fight temptation and
lies.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Messy Monday-Light from the Darkness
This December has been one of many struggles for my family - depression, slipped disk, GSI, loss of assistance, etc... It's getting to the point where even my friends are asking how much more can we take.
It doesn't only feel like we are going through this either. You only have to watch to news to see that things aren't right. That people are struggling. That hurt is abound. That evil is attacking us. After the shootings at Sandy Hook School, a friend questioned if this wasn't God's plan. I don't believe it was. God has a plan for each and every one of us. Plans to prosper not to harm. Plans with a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) All of this isn't in God's plan. God doesn't want us to hurt or be in pain. All this is about darkness.
Christmas is about light. We light a candle each week to represent - hope, love, joy, and peace. These little flames represent the light that Christ brought to our world with His birth. It's not about defeat or darkness. But that's what the enemy wants us to believe. He wants us to focus on despair and pain. He wants us to focus on stress and crowds. He wants us to focus on consumption and overindulgence. He wants us to focus on Elf on the Shelf and not the missing baby in the Nativity Scene. The enemy wants us to think that he's won.
In the world we live in it's easy to fall into his trap. Children killed. Old hostilities ignited. Politics over shadowing reconciliation. Debt looming. Countries close to bankruptcy. People losing jobs. I could go on. It's to the point where I don't want to watch the news anymore. There doesn't appear to be anything good in the world, if you believe the news makers.
But Love is alive in a breath. A teacher sacrificing herself for her students. Hope is alive in a simple random act of kindness of sharing a free coffee with the car behind you. Peace is reflected in people gathering to help those who need help by providing food and necessities no matter their background or faith. Joy is reflected in the eyes and giggle of child in the arms of a family member as they celebrate Jesus' birth. The enemy hasn't won. Christ's gift is still here.
Earlier this year I read Ann Voskamp's A Thousand Gifts. This book made me think of the little things instead of the big. We all want to look for God in the larger things, but He is just as strong in the small. Remember the mustard seed. If we want to move the mountain we need to see him in the speck of dust around us. We are looking for Him in a large light, but He's there in the lowly flame of a small candle. We need to trust that He is there. Because He is.
We are all facing the darkness instead of focusing on the light. We have wandered and are now lost. We need only to turn around and see the child lying in the manger to know who won and continues to fight on our behalf. We need to focus on the light of the world who came out of darkness.
"Light of the World
You stepped down into darkness
Opened my eyes
Let me see"
(Here I am the Worship by Chris Tomlin)
Monday, November 26, 2012
Messy Mondays - Blood
Blood.
It cleans.
It destroys the old and unjust
.jpg)
It wipes away the disgrace.
.jpg)
It breaks the chains
.jpg)
It renews and regenerates.
It brings peace and new life.
.jpg)
Only through Christ's death are we reconciled with the Father. This was the Father's decision. He planned this.
It cleans.
It destroys the old and unjust
It wipes away the disgrace.
It breaks the chains
It renews and regenerates.
It brings peace and new life.
Only through Christ's death are we reconciled with the Father. This was the Father's decision. He planned this.
This is our intervention.
We need to choose if we accept or deny.
For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross. Colossians 1:19-20
Monday, October 22, 2012
Messy Mondays - The Speech
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us
This week I am sharing the speech I gave at Church on Sunday as the Disability Advocate for our church and a parent of two exceptional boys with autism. I know if you read Caffeinated Randomness that some of this speech will seem familiar. I gave another version at a fundraiser for our advocacy group a month ago.
Hi, for those that don't know me, I'm Michelle Slomp. I have been married to Leroy Slomp for 12 years. I am a stay at home mom, blogger, organizer, reader, wanna be crafter and no I am not dutch.I would like to introduce you to my 3 children. My daughter, Nicole, who is 9 years old. She is a social butterfly who is kind, compassionate and smart. My oldest son Thomas is 6. He is playful and loving. He loves puzzles and has been on the computer since he was 2 1/2. Finally we have the baby of the family, Samuel. He is 3 years old. He is a ball of activity who has more energy than the Energizer Bunny. From the outside all my kids look just like any other kids. We look like the any other family. But we won the statistical lottery. 1 in 88 children will be diagnosed with autism (which some disagree would be more like 1 in 64 children). 15 to 20 percent of siblings will also receive the same diagnosis. Of 5 kids with autism, only 1 will be a girl. Both my sons have received this diagnosis within a year of each other.Thomas was diagnosed with autism two weeks before his 5th birthday while we were living in Saskatchewan. We did have some signs. He was a bit fussy as a baby. He did not walk until he was 20 months and he spoke only about 3-5 words when he was 3. However, he was so cuddly and just “loved up” everyone within his reach that the thought of autism never crossed our minds. When we questioned our doctor he said not to worry, he'll catch up. Nicole was so far ahead of all the scales that we just had to realize Thomas was behind on them. We started speech therapy and our therapist at first thought he was deaf. After 3 hearing appointments we ruled that out. At his 4 year check up, he was crying and so was I. The doctor, Nicole and Sam watched us in shock and awe. We were immediately referred to a pediatrician who subsequently referred us to the Kinsmen Development Centre in Saskatoon. At no time was the word Autism ever used. After 6 months of waiting and doing research, we began to utter the word ourselves. We also began to search for help, but felt like we were getting the run around between agencies. We felt alone and helpless.We obtained an assessment day almost 1 year from referral. This was obtained sooner due to calling our MLA's office. We were told that the assessment probably wouldn't happen until 18 months from referral date. Without this assessment any services we could access were out of reach. We researched a provincial advocacy group who recommended if you were able to leave the province to do so. We made the decision to move back to Alberta after having left 4 years before. Alberta had better services and programs to assist not just the children with autism, but also the families. We knew this was something we would not get in Saskatchewan. If we stayed we would be on our own emotionally and financially. Thomas received his diagnosis a few days after Sam's 2nd birthday and a few weeks prior to purchasing our new home in Okotoks.Around this time we also began to see signs in Sam. The grabbing of the ears and the OCD behaviour. Unlike Thomas though, Sam has no speech at all. He is a great mimicker, but has no or very little comprehension of the words that he says. He is also a runner – meaning he has no sense of boundaries and will run away from us within seconds. Add that to 1 very inquisitive 3 year old and you have 2 extremely stressed and tired parents. Sam received his diagnosis this last May.Both the boys require regular speech, physio, occupational and behavioural therapies. My calendar is filled with appointments for meetings or therapy times. I always say we are playing catch up with Thomas and being proactive with Sam. We also have an addition to our family. We have an aide, Deanna, who comes in daily and works with each of the boys.We don't just worry about the boys regarding this new journey we have, we also worry about Nicole and how this will affect her. She also has to make sacrifices because of her brothers. We have to allow and acknowledge her feelings of jealousy and anger. We have to allow for time to herself with just Mom and Dad, as well as time alone. One of our biggest concerns is how this will affect her when we are no longer here. What responsibilities she'll have for the boys. We want her to be her own person, but also be their advocate when we can't. She's already doing this at her age. She is an amazing sister. She is their number one fan and interpreter. She is not just their older sister but their best friend. She thinks more of them than herself.There are times when we've been lost in this journey. We have grieved for lost dreams for each of our children. We have cried out why? We have yelled in anger. We have fallen to our knees in desperation. But God has given me these truths to cling to:
I am linking up this week with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood at Finding Heaven.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Messy Mondays - Worship
A few weeks ago our church was host to Temple Veil a worship band from Tampa, Florida. The band consists of two men. One playing acoustic guitar and the other singing, playing piano or violin. This was not what I expected when I first heard that we were having a band come in. I had visions of a BAND. Full on guitars, drums, keyboards, vocals, background vocals, etc.. I was prepared to cover middleman's ears for when the kids were in the service. This didn't happen.
At the beginning of our service they went up on stage and started playing. They lead our congregation in a beautiful way. Leading us in song, not just singing and having us follow along. They slowed down songs that normally we sing on point, but the way they did it was purposeful not showy. The whole service was peaceful, spiritual and reverant. They ended by playing a beautiful acoustic version of Inside Out on the fly when asked by our Pastor. There were no words on the screen. Those who knew the song sang along. Those who didn't, listened and were moved. Well some of them.....
I was flying on a spirtual high by the time they ended. Then I heard it. The complaining. The judging. The talk about our traditions and their lack of knowledge of it. Immediately I was flying high and within a second, I was bombing fast. Did they not just attend the same service I did? Did they not hear what I heard or experience what I felt? Probably not, because what I felt is exactly what I allowed God let me feel. I had opened myself up like a empty pot and let Him fill me. But just as quickly I let others tip the pot over. You see, I failed to keep looking up. I looked out.
Worship isn't about what others do or do not do. Worship is about glorifying God in everything we do. Whether that be singing amazing songs, leading spirit filled worship, leading glorifying studies, doing laundry, cooking dinner, raising kids, etc... Worship is both in the glorifying and the mundane. Worship isn't about us, it's about Him. It's about us looking up and doing what we are doing for His glory. It's not about a feeling or tradition. It's not about religion. It's about us giving Him all that we can give Him and really that's only a fraction of what He's worth and given us.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Messy Mondays - He answers when called
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us
What are you doing?
While waiting for my hubby to get into the van so we could go to church, I decided to read my Bible. Shocking isn't it. It is because I rarely just read my Bible while driving somewhere, I have lots of books and devotionals and a Blackberry to help me ease the time. When I opened my Bible, I said a quick prayer that I would get something meaningful for me. This is what caught my eye:
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation. ” (Psalm 91:14-16 NIV84)
I had a handwritten note right beside these verses with change "him" to "her". I quickly read/prayed these verses. He knew exactly what I needed to hear and when I needed to hear it.
God loves me. God loves you. He will rescue you and protect you. However, you have a part in this. You need to call on Him. You need accept defeat. Defeat that you can't do it on your own. Defeat that you are not in control. Defeat that you need help. When you do this, He will answer you. He will walk right beside you through the darkness; through the fires; through the lonliness and the storms. He will not leave you alone. He will lead you to saftey. He will shelter you from the attacks if you stay under His umbrella for the rest of your days. He is offering His salvation, we must choose to accept it.
I'm calling out. Calling for His protection and strength. Seeking His guidance and wisdom. Pleading for His peace. I'm embracing the salvation He is offering.
What are you doing?
Monday, July 9, 2012
Messy Mondays - Lean on.....???
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us.
I'm not writing this to "toot" my own horn, but if you need something and I can give it to you or can assist you in anyway, I will. It's in my nature. I'm a fixer/helper. Recently this year I was asked to make a meal for a friend's aunt who is dying of cancer. I gave her 6. Not that I was looking for an award, but I had extra meals already prepared and knew they would be needed.
My problem is the fact that I don't know how to ask for help. I will take on so much and don't know when to say no. If I see something that needs to be done, I will do it. I am reminded of the song Lean on Me. The chorus says:
I'm not writing this to "toot" my own horn, but if you need something and I can give it to you or can assist you in anyway, I will. It's in my nature. I'm a fixer/helper. Recently this year I was asked to make a meal for a friend's aunt who is dying of cancer. I gave her 6. Not that I was looking for an award, but I had extra meals already prepared and knew they would be needed.
My problem is the fact that I don't know how to ask for help. I will take on so much and don't know when to say no. If I see something that needs to be done, I will do it. I am reminded of the song Lean on Me. The chorus says:
Lean on Me, When you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on.
That time is now! I have been struggling. I have been under a fog of cloud and dealing with trials that are no one's fault, they are just the cards dealt to us. I need to "swallow my pride" and let people know exactly what I need. I need to accept that I am not superwoman, but that I'm imperfect just like the rest of us. I need to acknowledge that no everything is not fine, but that everything will be fine. I have trusted God and asked for His help and guidance. But don't allow my friends and church family to assist me, as they have allowed me to assist them.
The problem, I'm not sure what I need. An hour alone. A meal. Laundry being done (ok, that might just be a little selfish). I'm not sure how to let go. There's a humbling of oneself to realize you need to become dependent and let go of your independence. Funny enough this is something that I speak to my evil twin about. She has had to do this as her sight has faded. There is that surrender. That we can't do it alone. That we do need to lean on others.
We are part of a body. We are not the foundation, that spot has already been taken by Jesus. We are but the parts. We cannot excist alone. We are all a part of a community. We were created to be in relationship - with Him and with each other. When we don't accept help, we essentially are saying that we don't need that relationship. We are saying that we are in control, which is a lie. We are not in control of anything. God is. It's when we think we are in control that we feel like we are losing control.
We need to rely on each other. We need to realize that we are not alone. We need to surrender and embrace the dependance. Just as I need to rely on my friends the way I let them "lean on me."
Monday, June 11, 2012
Messy Mondays - Dragonflies
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the
messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't
clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and
mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all
God is there with us.
Are you parched? Are you searching? Have you accepted that water?
I am linking up with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood this week.
Two weeks ago, my husband and I went to Phoenix, Arizona for a week of rest and relaxation (meaning, without the kids). We toured many of the sights in and out of Phoenix. One of the places we toured was the Heard Museum. It is a museum celebrating the Native American Culture of Arizona.
While walking through the exhibits, I saw a write up about the Navajo tribe and dragonflies. The Navajo believe the dragonfly symbolizes pure water. When I saw the symbol for the dragonfly, I knew they were right.
Water is very sacred in the desert. It can mean life and death. I experienced this while walking around Phoenix and driving the Apache Trail. For miles around there is cactus, dirt and rock. When you are around water you can tell immediately. You smell the earthy smell that appears at the start of a spring rain. You see the lush oasis like settings by rivers. Without water, you become parched. You can't live without it more than 2 days.
Through this, I was fully able to appreciate that Jesus is the pure water that we need. Without Him we cannot survive. When we are close to Him, all our senses are awakened. We are focused on Him. We long for Him. We crave Him. Only through His cleansing water are we washed clean and renewed. Without Him we are dead. We cannot truly exist without Him. We are dead.
The woman at the well understood this when she met with Jesus.
Now he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about the sixth hour. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans). Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?”
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” (John 4:4-15 NIV84)
She knew after talking to Jesus that she needed the water that only He can give us. That when she drank from that water, she wouldn't need to look for it anywhere else. We can search for relief from thirst in many things and in many ways, but we will continue to search and search. Until we acknowledge where the pure water is from we will continue to thirst and not be filled. Jesus offers us relief from the heat. He offers us eternal life in the water He provides.
Are you parched? Are you searching? Have you accepted that water?
I am linking up with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood this week.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Messy Monday's - You are not a bad mom!
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the
messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't
clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and
mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all
God is there with us.
I am forever calling myself and the things I do being a "Bad Mom." This has been driving my "evil twin" bananas. She is forever getting annoyed with me. The last time I said it, she went on a rant. It was a rant that I needed to hear and felt that every mom needs to hear. So, I told her to blog it for me and here it is.
What has this world come to? What have mommy wars wrought? Women don't even need other people to judge them - they are doing a great job for themselves.
You are not a bad mom - you are a saved mom, a redeemed mom, a beloved by the God-most-high mom. Spread the joy!
AMEN!!!! Sister. I am linking up with a whole bunch of God most high moms at Finding Heaven today.
I am forever calling myself and the things I do being a "Bad Mom." This has been driving my "evil twin" bananas. She is forever getting annoyed with me. The last time I said it, she went on a rant. It was a rant that I needed to hear and felt that every mom needs to hear. So, I told her to blog it for me and here it is.
Finally, brothers and SISTERS, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 NIV)
After posting that verse I am going to begin by talking about some of my pet peeves - well - that phrase is one of my pet peeves - but for lack of a better one I will use it. I get super frustrated when I am creating culinary masterpieces in the kitchen and people sneak in and grab something or just stand in the middle of the kitchen silently. I am a legally blind cook - I am wielding sharp knives - I am sloshing hot liquids about - I might main or injure you - and then I will have to be sorry and you will be indignant and then blame yourself - seriously - just go sit at the table 2 meters away and STAY THERE! It is an enter at your own risk zone - don't make me responsible for your high risk behaviors. Phew, I got that one out.
Don't leave doors half open - they must be either open or shut or else I will walk into them and get hurt. Do not throw wet things into the dirty laundry basket - hang it up to dry - that is the only laundry rule in the house - it is not hard! Do not ask me "how can you stand using the computer with that voice?" duh - I have no choice. - how can I NOT use the computer with that voice? When you are done with the toilet paper - put a new roll on - it is not a feat of mechanical genius. Yes my name can be Debbie without it being Deborah on my birth certificate - I can show my documentation to prove it - but really?
OK these are all things that we all have to one degree or another for various and sundry really good reasons - mine are the best - but you can have yours too. When people do things that annoy or irritate us we respond -react - politely - some days not so much. Sometimes we just have to fix the problem for our selves - like when a person does put new toilet paper on the roll - but it is on the wrong way - you know what I mean.
There is one thing thing that I have a harder and harder time just letting slide. This is what it is: when anyone - who patently is not - declares -"I know I am being bad mom." I hear this from many wonderful God loving women I know. I have read it on Facebook and in blogs of many God loving women I know. I am always sad and angry when I hear it. This is my true pet peeve - it goes beyond pet peeve territory - peeved is too limited to describe how I feel. I am disturbed, saddened, angry, bereft!
This is what I mean: I was a bad mom today - we just went to McDonalds for lunch. I am being a bad mom - the kids are front of the TV watching Cars 2 and eating cookies(home made ones btw). I was a bad mom today - I let the kids play on the OUI while I washed the floor and folded laundry.
What has this world come to? What have mommy wars wrought? Women don't even need other people to judge them - they are doing a great job for themselves.
When I ask some of my friends who say this - what do you mean by that - they say - well - I don't really mean it but.well.you know what I mean.? No - I do not know what you mean - in fact - I do not WANT to know what you mean - it leaves me empty hearted to think about what you mean.
When my daughter - who is now 11 - was 1 and 2 years old - I would often say things like - oh, mommy is stupid - or mommy is doing a dumb thing. My sister noticed me doing that once and called me on it. she asked why I was putting myself down. She asked what message I was sending to my child by saying such things. What sort of attitude was I fostering in her about me?
When my daughter - who is now 11 - was 1 and 2 years old - I would often say things like - oh, mommy is stupid - or mommy is doing a dumb thing. My sister noticed me doing that once and called me on it. she asked why I was putting myself down. She asked what message I was sending to my child by saying such things. What sort of attitude was I fostering in her about me?
At the time I was struggling with a lot of self esteem issues - I was feeling inadequate and insecure about my marriage and my ability to be a mom. I was also looking for a job and feeling defeated because I was 32 years old and did not start a career properly before I had a baby. Through encouragement of many loving people and by drawing me closer to Him the Lord brought me out of that and showed me that God esteem was more important than self esteem. He showed me that I was already perfect in His eyes but on this side of the veil - not yet there. He showed me all sorts of things about grace.
One of the things I learned was that I had to stop saying that I was stupid or anything remotely negative. When I said those things - I believed those things - even when I said I was only joking - there was a level at which I thought and believed these lies to be true. And in essence I was denying God's redemptive work in me.
I would love for all my Jesus following mom friends and sisters who I have not met - who are reading this - to stop saying that they are bad moms. They are denying the truth about what Jesus did on the cross by saying such nonsense. There are social workers and police officers and emergency room staff out there who can tell you what a really bad mom is. This is not meant to be a comparison - but really - think about what you are saying. First about what Jesus has done for you. Second, what effect your words are having on your children and family. Third, what effect are your words having on you?
I would love for all my Jesus following mom friends and sisters who I have not met - who are reading this - to stop saying that they are bad moms. They are denying the truth about what Jesus did on the cross by saying such nonsense. There are social workers and police officers and emergency room staff out there who can tell you what a really bad mom is. This is not meant to be a comparison - but really - think about what you are saying. First about what Jesus has done for you. Second, what effect your words are having on your children and family. Third, what effect are your words having on you?
Please please please stop saying you are a bad mom for doing things that are not bad at all. God has blessed you and entrusted you with the children you have. When you feel overcome by the burden that this can sometimes be - turn to our Perfect and Eternal Father. He has already gone ahead of us - He has already given us all we need. When you are weak - turn to Jesus - he is sitting at the right hand of God - speaking on our behalf - it is His JOY to do this. He has been human - He knows our every weakness.
You are not a bad mom - you are a saved mom, a redeemed mom, a beloved by the God-most-high mom. Spread the joy!
AMEN!!!! Sister. I am linking up with a whole bunch of God most high moms at Finding Heaven today.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Messy Monday - A Place to Belong
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the
messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't
clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and
mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all
God is there with us.
Jesus called all of us to him. I love the story in Matthew where the disciples didn't want the children near Jesus. They wanted Him to minister to the "adults." The people who took time out of their busy lives to hear and see Jesus. But Jesus didn't just come for them - those who would sit still every Sunday and listen to Him. He came for those who can't sit still every week. Those who talk during the sermon. Those who make us uncomfortable. He didn't come because it appeared we were all perfect. He came because we are all imperfect.
What is your church doing to create a place for all to belong?
I'm linking up with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood today at Finding Heaven.
Then little children were brought to Jesus, that He might put His hands on them and pray; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But He said, Leave the children alone! Allow the little ones to come to Me, and do not forbid or restrain or hinder them, for of such [as these] is the kingdom of heaven composed. Matthew 19:13-14 AMP
Last week I attended a workshop called "A Place to Belong - Supporting People with Disabilities to be included within our Church Communities." There is a part of me that questions why there has to be a workshop regarding this. That we, as Christians, actually need to be taught to include ALL people in Church. This is the place where we should be welcomed no matter what. No matter if we have a disability. No matter if we are homeless, beaten, hurting - messy! If you look at the people Christ associated with during his 3 year ministry they weren't perfect. They weren't the people filling the pews every Sunday. They weren't the people that tithed regularly every week. They were the people that "we" (yes I include myself in here) turn our noses at. That we put within an arm's reach.
Jesus called all of us to him. I love the story in Matthew where the disciples didn't want the children near Jesus. They wanted Him to minister to the "adults." The people who took time out of their busy lives to hear and see Jesus. But Jesus didn't just come for them - those who would sit still every Sunday and listen to Him. He came for those who can't sit still every week. Those who talk during the sermon. Those who make us uncomfortable. He didn't come because it appeared we were all perfect. He came because we are all imperfect.
Yet, we still think we are perfect. We hinder those who make us uncomfortable from worshiping with us. We segregate them. We put them in spaces that supposedly make it easier for us and their families to worship, but we really ignore the bigger picture. We don't make them a part of our community. We believe they don't belong and make sure they don't belong. We say we want God's community to look like a rainbow. But the rainbow we think of is a perfect hemisphere with perfect colours . God's community doesn't look like this. God's community is full of imperfections. But despite these imperfections, He makes us beautiful.
We need to create an environment that includes everybody because that is what Jesus did. He included everyone: adults, children, sinners, saints. He loved all not because they were perfect but because they were imperfect. He loved them for who they were and their potential. When we don't include ALL into our church bodies, we are telling people they don't have potential and need to fit into our picture perfect puzzle.
What is your church doing to create a place for all to belong?
I'm linking up with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood today at Finding Heaven.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Messy Monday (Tuesday Edition) - Weariness
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the
messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't
clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and
mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all
God is there with us.
Dictionary.com defines weary as:
physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.; fatigued; tired
I have to tell you that I am so weary. I am so tired. Right now I can't even get the energy to get off the couch and get a snack.
I have no energy. The alarm goes off in the morning and a time I was learning to embrace now alludes me. I can't get up. I literally have to force myself to get up. A month ago this was not a problem.
I could blame it on staying up late. But I, like my kids, can stay up late and for some reason, get up early in the morning.
I could blame it on working to hard. Doing to much laundry. HA!! Like that would ever happen. I'm not even working out. I managed to get myself out of bed at 6:45 am to do a 10 minute work out. I felt great after and right up until noon, but then I had lunch and that ended my day.
I could say it's because of the kids. Parenting two boys on the spectrum isn't easy. But they are easy going kids. They love to run and play independently. There are times in the day when the only time I see them is if they want more juice or a snack.
I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I have been praying through this. He asks us to come to Him, we who are weary.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NIV84
I am praying that His light would shine through the fog. That His voice will be heard and guide me to peace. I am reminded of Psalm 23 and hold to it.
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have everything I need.
He lets me rest in fields of green grass
and leads me to quiet pools of fresh water.
He gives me new strength.
He guides me in the right paths,
as he has promised.
Even if I go through the deepest darkness,
I will not be afraid, Lord,
for you are with me.
Your shepherd's rod and staff protect me.
You prepare a banquet for me,
where all my enemies can see me;
you welcome me as an honored guest
and fill my cup to the brim.
I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life;
and your house will be my home as long as I live. (Psalm 23 Good News)
I am going through the deepest darkness right now, but I am not alone. He alone is guarding me. He will guide me past the rocks that want to destroy me.
I am weary. But My God is mighty. He will protect me. He will guide me through this time. He will refine me.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Messy Mondays - The Next Round..
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the
messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't
clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and
mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all
God is there with us.
Last week three famous
people passed away. People pass away everyday. Death is an absolute
certainty no matter what we do to try to avoid it. However, one of
the deaths really affected me – Chuck Colson's. This is man who
didn't always live a very “Christian” life. He was involved in
one of the worst scandals to hit history which has changed politics
ever since. However, he was a man
that spoke about grace. Grace that he had been given. Grace that
God gives freely daily. From his mistakes and from “doing time,”
he worked actively in prison ministry. He advocated for those in the
prison system. Making sure that that they were “fed” in the way
they should be fed.
He was also a man who
stood up for his beliefs. Since becoming a Christian, whenever there
was an argument in the government or courts that could affect how we
worship and what we believe, the first person I always heard stand up was
Chuck Colson. He fought the good fight we should all be fighting but
many of us are too afraid to. He was unafraid of what people said
and what people thought. He was fighting for a greater purpose.
We have lost a great man.
Who will take up the fight that he was fighting? Who will stand up
for those who can not stand up for themselves? Who will fight to
make sure our rights are protected? Who will be the next man of
integrity? I pray that we do not have to wait long. However, I pray that we
don't just wait for the next man of integrity to come. We also have
an accounting for our actions before God. We need to fight for our
rights. We need to trust God to lead us and use us in the battle
before us as we are going to be facing more and more battles. We
live in a world that is against us and an enemy who is fighting to
make sure that we fail. God is mighty. God is powerful and God will
win – with or without us. I would rather be a part of this fight
than not.
If you are interested in
standing up, read the Manhattan Declaration and sign it. It is a
powerful document that many people have already signed. It is
controversial as it talks about supporting traditional marriage,
rights for the unborn and the erosion of the marriage culture that we
live in. We need to stand together. Now. Not later. Chuck Colson
lead the fight and now we must take up the arms and continue to stand
up for God in a godless culture. To speak for those who cannot speak
for themselves and to remember who's laws are the ones we need to
follow first.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Messy Monday - I Thought I Was Older
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us.
Yesterday, while driving to church I silently prayed for each member of my family. When I got to Sam, God gave me an epiphany. Not one about Sam. No, about myself. You see lately I have been complaining about Sam. He's up and at em by 7 am every morning and makes himself quite noticed. He runs here, he runs there, especially when he knows its time to get ready to go. Just when you think you have him, you guessed wrong. He quickly shoots to another direction. If we work as a team we can usually corner him, unless he decides to "hide" in the couch (this means he lays on the couch with his head in the cushions. He can't see you, so he thinks you can't see him).
I'm like this with God. I run around dodging Him. I run around in circles while He is trying to lead me in the direction He wants me to go. When I hide, I don't do a very good job at it, because He knows where to find me all the time. He follows me around and corners me, just like Sam does with us. The only difference is that I am almost 38 years old and Sam is 3. Sam is expected to run. I am expected to listen and behave and follow when told or commanded to. I am not to try to dodge what is expected of me, which I have been doing lately.
Another way I am like Sam is when he attaches himself to the wrong mom. If you are a mom of a toddler you know what I mean, for all others let me explain. When we pick up Thomas from kindergarten, we have to pick him up inside the school. The little kids run up and down the hallways while we wait for the kindergarten kids to be dismissed. From a toddlers perspective that's a lot of big people and legs. So often a toddler will cuddle in eventually to who he/she believes is mommy because aren't all big legs their moms. Unfortunately when they finally look up, way up, they realize "that's not my mommy" and go and locate their mommy.
You see, when I do slow down and look for God, I grab onto a set of "legs" I think are His. It's only after while do I actually look and realize I haven't been following who I should be. During these times I feel lost, lonely, broken and defeated. When I am walking with the Father, I feel loved, secure, peaceful and hopeful.
I need to grow up. I thought I had reached that spiritual adolescent or teenage age where I asked questions and longed to know more about God. I didn't think I was still in the toddler phase, running around like a chicken with my head chopped off wanting security, but dodging it as well. I know this has a lot to do with my prayer life. I realized that today as I finished my Good Morning Girls study on Ephesians 6:18.
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[ NLT]
As I wrote last week, my prayer life has been sporadic. This verse reminds me to be alert and persistent in my prayer life, not just for myself but for others as well. It reminds me to pray at ALL times and on EVERY occasion. Not just when I need something. Not just when it gets hard. But to pray daily. Pray about what I need, what I long for for my children. Praying for my husband. Praying for family and friends. Praying for my government. Praying for God's kingdom and will.
I thought I was older. Apparently, God has other ideas.
What do you think you're spiritual age is? What do you think you have been dodging that God wants you do? Have you been heading toward the wrong "set of legs?"
Monday, April 2, 2012
Messy Mondays - Finding What's Been Missing
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us.
This last week has been very messy, literally. Potty training has been two steps forward and three steps back with Thomas. Just as it seems he's about to get it, we spend two days cleaning up underwear and pants. And now this problem has crept up in school and there are more demands on my time in regards to this.
While we wait for Sam's diagnositic assessment for ASD, he is becoming a little Dictator. I'm going to start calling him Il Duce soon. He may not be able to talk but makes it very plain what he wants and likes and what the consequences are when he doesn't get them.
The "A" word is getting to us. It controls everything we do and how we do it. Do we go out or stay home? Do we take the kids or get a babysitter? Do we leave when there is a meltdown or do we just excuse ourselves until it finishes? We are at our wit's end. In fact, last Friday in the middle of the messies, I texted my husband with "I'M DONE!" I was done. I was laying on my bed. I was finished. I couldn't take anymore at that point. Then I prayed. Actually, more like I asked God the eternal question WHY? Why us? Why two? Why do we have to deal with this? Will it ever get better? Will it ever be "Normal"? (It probably didn't help that I had been suffering for over a week with a pinched nerve and strained shoulder and I had just lost my voice to laryngitis).
After struggling through the weekend and somehow maintaining some sanity (I think it helped that my husband bought me a cute new purse), I read Kelly Langston's blog (she is the the author of Autisn's Hidden Blessings).
These words screamed out to me. I knew immediately what had been missing for a while in my life - Jesus. It's not that I had turned from Him. I have been getting up and studying his word daily through the Good Morning Girls study. What's been missing is prayer? I've been getting to know Him more and more, but I have put Him within arms reach and still expect Him to be there for me in the messiness. How can I expect to receive peace and comfort when I don't ask Him for it. It seems lately I only talk to Him in crisis, when I should really be having an ongoing conversation with Him regarding every area in my life.He knows that we will encounter trials and hardships, but He has already overcome them, promising rest, guidance and wisdom when we need it.
Our Advocate—Jesus—longs to help you. I know, because He helped me, and He helped my son.
Jesus is calling me. He is literally hitting me on the head and telling me to call Him. To let Him in all the details. To let the Father be in control. I need to let go and trust Him. I need to tell Him this more often so that when trials hit (Ok, tornados hit) then I will be given peace and guidance that I need to work through mess of autism.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Messy Monday - Teaching Through Misguidance
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us.
A year ago, I wrote about Owl City`s version of In Christ Alone and the fact that they skip the verse regarding Jesus` death on the cross. Last week on the way home from church this same version enabled me to have a teaching moment with the princess.
Sometimes I don`t think I do enough to teach Nicole about the Bible and a relationship with Jesus. We don`t do regular devotions and I don`t read the Bible to the kids regularly. I do take the kids to church. I listen to Christian music in the van and home. When I can I try to use what the kids hear or learn to teach them about God.
While we were listening to the song. I told Nicole why I don`t like this version. She of course asked why. I explained that the version didn`t sing about Jesus`death. I asked her why did Jesus die. "To save us from our sins." I then explained that when Jesus died all our sins were taken from us and we were made free from them. That without Jesus dying we would still be enslaved to them. "That would be silly mommy. Jesus died for us." Spoken from her heart. She knows it. She gets it.
A version that I disliked enabled me to teach Nicole the truth. Sometimes we don't know how much our kids get. Sometimes they understand more than we give them credit for.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Messy Mondays - 5 AM
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us.
5 AM
Not a time I want to be woken and not a time that I would wake up naturally. My alarm is set for 6 am (with the exceptions of Saturday and School PD Days).
5 AM
Door slams open. Light flicked on and the heavy patter of little feet running to me. It is way to early to be up. Did I mention that I still have another hour to sleep?
I quickly pick up the intruder and carry him back to his room. I place him in bed, put on his music, shut off his light and close the door. I don't know why I shut the light off because he will just turn it on himself and play.
I go back to bed and snuggle under the comforters to escape the cold air. I wait for sleep to overtake me. I'm up. I know I'm up and won't be going back to sleep. What should I do now? Make plans for the day. Think about what needs to be done around the house. Crafts I have just pinned and how I can make them reality. Yet there is a tugging at my soul.
I have been far again and have been feeling lost and in a fog. I have been wallowing in my own dispair and grief. The "A" word is appearing again in my little intruder. WHY ME? WHY US? AGAIN?!?!
A voice, so quiet I almost ignore it continues to tugg on my soul. It gets louder in the morning silence. Reminding me where I should be. What I should be doing. Who I should be talking to. Who wants to lead me out of the fog and into joy and peace and contentment.
So I start. I ask for forgiveness. I humbly admit my faults and frailties. I ask for help. Help in my faith, obedience, walk, as a wife and mother. I ask for strength. I ask for peace.
I am filled immediately.
5:45 AM Time to get up. Time for coffee and the Word.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Messy Monday - No Mistakes
God Makes No Mistakes
A.M. Overton
My Father's way may twist and turn,
My heart may throb and ache,
But in my soul I'm glad I know,
He maketh no mistake.
My cherished plans may go astray,
My hopes may fade away,
But still I trust my Lord to lead,
For He doth know the way.
Tho night be dark and it may seem
That day will never break,
I'll pin my faith, my all in Him,
He maketh no mistakes.
There's so much I cannot see,
My eysight far too dim,
But come what may, I'll simply trust
And leave it all to Him.
For bye and bye the mist will lift,
And plain it all He'll make,
Though all the way, tho'dark to me,
He maketh not one mistake!
I came across this poem while reading Karol Ladd's book, "Positive Principals for Creating Calm and Peace." It really opened my eyes. The past year was brutal both mentally and spiritually. I questioned everything God gave us. Why me? Why us? I have been reading this past week about everyone's recollection of 2011 and sounds like it was a struggle for most people. Why them? Why now?
In focusing of this year's word "Contentment" I have already been trying to focus on Him and leaning on him to provide for me a safe place. However, when I don't immediately see those times, I will continue to focus on God. Trusting Him to get me through it. I can't expect everything to always be rosy, but I can expect Him to be there with me until those mists lift, because He never makes any mistakes.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Messy Monday - Blessing
Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the
messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't
clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and
mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all
God is there with us.
It's too easy to ignore the true blessings around us. I live in a country where I have the right to worship God. I live in a nice house. I have good medical. I have access to services I didn't have earlier this year. As of today I choose to look at my struggles and trials as blessings. They are forcing me to look at, surrender to; and trust God. We all long for the big things. Sometimes we just need to look at the small things and know how blessed we are.
Webster's defines blessing as:
- (a) The act or words of one that blesses (b) approval, encouragement
- A thing conducive to happiness or welfare
- Grace said at a meal
The blessing I'm talking about today is not the third one. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that my children take great pleasure racing through their blessing to see who can say it the quickest. I should video it and share it with you....but I digress.
We live in a world of gratification and happiness. We want to be happy and filled with joy. We look at other people and long for what they have as it appears they've been blessed. A woman struggling with infertility questions why she can't have children when a 15 year old has an unplanned pregnancy. "Why not me?" she cries. A faithful person who tithes and volunteers regularly and always gives over and above when asked, cries "Why me?" when he suddenly finds himself plunged into financial crisis when he loses his job because of the economy.
I have these same feelings. What have I done to deserve this? I struggle with the Why me? Why us? Why can't we have 3 "normal" children? Why do our boys have autism? Why can't my boys be like other children? Why is my norm now spent filling out forms, getting funding and attending numerous appointments. Why?
Laura Story went through these same questions. Just as her career was on the rise, her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour. She wrote a beautiful song about what a blessing could look like, not just what we think they look like.
It's too easy to ignore the true blessings around us. I live in a country where I have the right to worship God. I live in a nice house. I have good medical. I have access to services I didn't have earlier this year. As of today I choose to look at my struggles and trials as blessings. They are forcing me to look at, surrender to; and trust God. We all long for the big things. Sometimes we just need to look at the small things and know how blessed we are.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
- Michelle
- Alberta, Canada
- I'm a 39 year old (oh yeah I'm telling you my age) Stay at Home mom. A former Bad Girl now reformed sinner, I'm married to my Y2K guy and raising 3 great children from God. Proudly Canadian, however, missing the West Coast, I currently live in the prairies watching the farmers fields produce as I learn how God produces the fruits in me.
Mini Me
Middleman
Tormentinator
Facebook Badge
Where I travel
