Sunday, January 29, 2012

Messy Mondays - 5 AM

Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us.

5 AM

Not a time I want to be woken and not a time that I would wake up naturally.  My alarm is set for 6 am (with the exceptions of Saturday and School PD Days). 

5 AM

Door slams open.  Light flicked on and the heavy patter of little feet running to me.  It is way to early to be up.  Did I mention that I still have another hour to sleep?

I quickly pick up the intruder and carry him back to his room.  I place him in bed, put on his music, shut off his light and close the door.  I don't know why I shut the light off because he will just turn it on himself and play. 

I go back to bed and snuggle under the comforters to escape the cold air.  I wait for sleep to overtake me.  I'm up.  I know I'm up and won't be going back to sleep.  What should I do now?  Make plans for the day.  Think about what needs to be done around the house.  Crafts I have just pinned and how I can make them reality.   Yet there is a tugging at my soul. 

I have been far again and have been feeling lost and in a fog.  I have been wallowing in my own dispair and grief.  The "A" word is appearing again in my little intruder.  WHY ME?  WHY US?  AGAIN?!?!

A voice, so quiet I almost ignore it continues to tugg on my soul.  It gets louder in the morning silence.  Reminding me where I should be.  What I should be doing.  Who I should be talking to.  Who wants to lead me out of the fog and into joy and peace and contentment. 

So I start.  I ask for forgiveness.  I humbly admit my faults and frailties.  I ask for help.  Help in my faith, obedience, walk, as a wife and mother.  I ask for strength.  I ask for peace. 

I am filled immediately. 

5:45 AM  Time to get up.  Time for coffee and the Word.

5 comments:

Sherri said...

Beautiful post! Something that happens in this house as well.
Glad you were able to find your peace. :)

Jedidja said...

Great to read this. I am a mother as you and will follow you in the good things: praying,humbly admit my faults and frailties.

Have a good week with God and family. xxx out Holland.

~Rain``` said...

Thanks for the reminder to focus on Him.

Susie said...

Loved reading this today... :-) Hugs!!!

Lindsey said...

Love your honesty and openness!! Great post!!

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Alberta, Canada
I'm a 39 year old (oh yeah I'm telling you my age) Stay at Home mom. A former Bad Girl now reformed sinner, I'm married to my Y2K guy and raising 3 great children from God. Proudly Canadian, however, missing the West Coast, I currently live in the prairies watching the farmers fields produce as I learn how God produces the fruits in me.

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