Thursday, January 5, 2012
Caffeinated Randomness - New meets Old
This past week I have been visiting family on Coastal Vancouver Island. We are on vacation, but most of my family is back to their normal routines. We have had more free time than a normal vacation and thus I have been a little more relaxed. Unfortunately, because of the weather (torrential down pours) we haven't been able to take the kids out and about as usual. Today we visited a friend from high school. Someone I haven't seen in 20 years. It was great to reconnect with her. To reminisce about the past and talk about our families.
I was a little apprehensive about the visit. My life has changed. I have become a Christian. I have become conservative in my thinking. Growing up on the island, I grew up in a pretty socially liberal society. Most of the people I hung out with were on the left side of the political spectrum. Many of them still are. Many people I hung out with aren't believers. They believe in mother earth and social liberal thinking. They have beliefs that are very contrary to mine.
Last night I was "tagged" in a picture from our high school musical. I played Mrs. Lynch in Grease. I chatted with the two people who played Danny and Sandy. "Sandy" made a comment regarding high school, "I loved school! 1992 was awesome! I so loved every minute of it!" I have to admit that I didn't love school. I loved learning. I had a few friends, but for the most part I was a social misfit. I didn't fit in. I danced to my own drummer. I was ridiculed and tormented by the "cool" kids. In fact, I remember during one of our dress rehearsal days, I ate lunch on the lawn on my own and started counting the days to graduation and my ticket out of our city. I knew that I didn't want to hang around. I knew that I wanted to go somewhere else. Somewhere where I could start over. Somewhere new. Somewhere where I would be liked for me and not my social standing.
It took me a while to find that place. I looked. I looked a lot. I searched. I searched for a place where I would be liked for me. Where people respected me. Where I was genuinely liked. It was like that song, "I was searching for ________ in all the wrong places..." Believe me there were many wrong places. It happened when I came to know Him. It wasn't until I found my real Father, the Father who loves me and accepts me just the way I am. Just for me. He doesn't expect me to be cool. He doesn't expect me to fit in. He expects a lot and a little all at the same time: to follow Him no matter what. To love Him no matter what.
I have changed my life. I am in the process of becoming more like the person He created me to be. It is a process. It is not always easy. Sometimes the lessons I need to learn are hard and lonely, but they always bring me back to where I need to be. So the new me embraces the old me and all that entails: insecurities, past hurts, past sins, etc... Looking at this new year, I am glad that they have met. I am glad that they are going to get along. It's been hard living between the two of them.
Are you like me and glad high school is over? or do you miss it?
Come link up today in the randomness.
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- Michelle
- Alberta, Canada
- I'm a 39 year old (oh yeah I'm telling you my age) Stay at Home mom. A former Bad Girl now reformed sinner, I'm married to my Y2K guy and raising 3 great children from God. Proudly Canadian, however, missing the West Coast, I currently live in the prairies watching the farmers fields produce as I learn how God produces the fruits in me.
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8 comments:
I'm very much like you! I don't miss high school...or my first few years of "searching" in college. I'm glad that God saw fit to be gracious and bring me to Himself...but some memories I don't reflect on with er, happiness. I also don't tend to blog about this...cuz there are family members who just don't need those details or info. I'm amazed you can with such freedom.
You know, I had a great time in high school, but I was so insecure. I was so afraid of losing my friends that I think I sometimes gave up myself and molded to them. I'm so glad that part is over and that I'm more confident in the Lord!
I went to a private school so in many ways I liked school. However, I was thrilled to graduate because my next step was marriage to my childhood sweetheart. In some ways I wonder if I struggle more now with the whole fitting in thing. I'm not comfortable with small talk or shopping -- things that so many see as important. I want to know what God is speaking to you about, what book you're reading and how it's impacting your life, etc.
Normally, I'm so glad to be done with high school, but as my 10 year reunion approaches this year {I know - I'm a youngun'}, I'm missing it. I don't miss the reality of high school so much as the possibilities of "what could have been."
I think I would have enjoyed it more had I stayed in Winnipeg. Once we moved to S'toon, I was over it. But then again, if I hadn't of moved, I wouldn't have necessarily found Jesus when I did, so it all worked out! ;)
Very glad high school is over!!!! :) I am right there with you!! I too was always searching in the wrong places until I found Jesus. And yes it's a process to become who we're made to be for sure...always continuing. I so related to you on this entire post!
Hello Michelle and Happy New Year!
Nope, I don't miss high school not one little bit even though I very much enjoyed my years in school. When I go home to visit there are only a few people I look up but those are people I've stayed in touch with over the years anyway. I'm in a different place and am a different person than when I was then and I like it that way. Not interested in looking or going back at all.
You couldn't pay me all the money in the world to go back to highschool. Like you, very tough years for me!!
However, like you I was also able to connect with a friend from highschool over Christmas. What a treasured time that was for me!
To see where I used to be, and where HE has brought me to.
Giving HIM praise for loving and accepting us as He does. Thank you for sharing these words!
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