Monday, April 9, 2012

Messy Monday - I Thought I Was Older

Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us.

Yesterday, while driving to church I silently prayed for each member of my family.  When I got to Sam, God gave me an epiphany.  Not one about Sam.  No, about myself.  You see lately I have been complaining about Sam.  He's up and at em by 7 am every morning and makes himself quite noticed.  He runs here, he runs there, especially when he knows its time to get ready to go.  Just when you think you have him, you guessed wrong.  He quickly shoots to another direction.  If we work as a team we can usually corner him, unless he decides to "hide" in the couch (this means he lays on the couch with his head in the cushions.  He can't see you, so he thinks you can't see him).

I'm like this with God.  I run around dodging Him.  I run around in circles while He is trying to lead me in the direction He wants me to go.  When I hide, I don't do a very good job at it, because He knows where to find me all the time.  He follows me around and corners me, just like Sam does with us.  The only difference is that I am almost 38 years old and Sam is 3.  Sam is expected to run.  I am expected to listen and behave and follow when told or commanded to.  I am not to try to dodge what is expected of me, which I have been doing lately. 

Another way I am like Sam is when he attaches himself to the wrong mom.  If you are a mom of a toddler you know what I mean, for all others let me explain.  When we pick up Thomas from kindergarten, we have to pick him up inside the school.  The little kids run up and down the hallways while we wait for the kindergarten kids to be dismissed.  From a toddlers perspective that's a lot of big people and legs.  So often a toddler will cuddle in eventually to who he/she believes is mommy because aren't all big legs their moms.  Unfortunately when they finally look up, way up, they realize "that's not my mommy" and go and locate their mommy. 

You see, when I do slow down and look for God, I grab onto a set of "legs" I think are His.  It's only after while do I actually look and realize I haven't been following who I should be.  During these times I feel lost, lonely, broken and defeated.  When I am walking with the Father, I feel loved, secure, peaceful and hopeful. 

I need to grow up.  I thought I had reached that spiritual adolescent or teenage age where I asked questions and longed to know more about God.  I didn't think I was still in the toddler phase, running around like a chicken with my head chopped off wanting security, but dodging it as well.  I know this has a lot to do with my prayer life.  I realized that today as I finished my Good Morning Girls study on Ephesians 6:18. 
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[ NLT]

As I wrote last week, my prayer life has been sporadic.  This verse reminds me to be alert and persistent in my prayer life, not just for myself but for others as well.  It reminds me to pray at ALL times and on EVERY occasion.  Not just when I need something.  Not just when it gets hard.  But to pray daily.  Pray about what I need, what I long for for my children.  Praying for my husband.  Praying for family and friends.  Praying for my government.  Praying for God's kingdom and will.  

I thought I was older.  Apparently, God has other ideas.

What do you think you're spiritual age is?  What do you think you have been dodging that God wants you do?  Have you been heading toward the wrong "set of legs?"

2 comments:

Amy Sullivan said...

Michelle,
What a great question! Sometimes I think my spiritual age is very young because like Sam, I run from here to there often dodging the real message or lesson God wants me to see.

God gave me a realization about my daughter about a month ago. I love how he uses them to teach us about Him.

Have a good week!

Sherri said...

I love this post. It is amazing how sometimes he uses our children to get to us.
I am not sure if I am still a toddler but I think not far from it. Probably in Kindergarten.
I have been a Christian since I was 7 and still sometimes I want to run and hide.

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