Friday, April 20, 2012

Caffeinated Randomness - Thanksgivings


This has been a few weeks of wide eye information.   A friend lost her house to a fire.  One friend is being hospitalized for anorexia.  Another friend is having to deal with something no parent should, the sexual assault of her child.   Last weekend I attended a conference about inclusion of special needs individuals within society and read some horrendous stories of institutionalization and sterilization.  I could go on and on, but it's just more proof of the brokenness of our world.  That sin does live among us.  

There are times I just want to sit and cry.  Cry for loss of security.  Cry for the loss of innocence in a little girl's eye.  Cry for the pain of a friend being separated from her child.  Cry for loss of humanity and equality by people who should have known better.  Then I get angry.  I want to lash out.  I want to hurt the people who hurt others.  I want to yell at the top of my voice.  I want to change things.  Then I think who am I?  I can't even deal with my own struggles.  There are days I just want to stay in bed and hide from the things that hurt.  From the struggles that seem to control our lives.  

The world is messy.  Life is messy.  I am messy. 

Last year everyone was raving about Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts".  I have seen so many of you making your lists.  I don't normally jump on any bandwagons.  Sometimes they aren't worth it.  They're pumped up and then I feel let down.  This last week I have been slowly listening to the audio version of "One Thousand Gifts".  I will admit that it started out slowly.  I wasn't sure if I really was interested in going further until she started talking about eucharisteo - Thanksgiving.  That's when I realized that I don't give enough thanks.  Like Ann Voskamp, I look too much about what's wrong and the hopelessness.  I don't look at the little things.  The things that show me that God is still there.  The things that show me hope.  Not just an illusion of it, but the breath of it.  

There is evil in the world.  But there is hope.  True hope.  Hope that  may seem small.  Hope that may seem illusive.  It's all around us.  In the small things.  In the large things.  We breathe it in.  We see it. It's alive.  Sometimes it may only be in the eye of the beholder.  Sometimes is glorious and breathtaking.   Because of this hope, I'm formally jumping on the bandwagon.  I don't know how often I'll post my list.  But I will be posting my list periodically.  I'm hoping this list will enable me to remember where hope is.  To become content with what I have.  To focus on something larger than just myself.  To start thinking positively in the messy world we live in.  To see the light in the darkness.

1.  Fresh spring rain bringing life.

2.  Little snores from the back seat.

3. A smile even when she's been hurt.

4. Windows letting in spring air.

5. Babbling while playing out in the sun.

6. Little ottoman to put my feet on.

7.  Two birthday invitations in one week for middleman.

The gift list is thinking upon His goodness--and this, this pleases Him most!  And most profits my own soul and I am beginning, only beginning, to know it.  If clinging to His goodness is the highest form of prayer, then this seeing His goodness with a pen, with a shutter, with a word of thanks these really are the most sacred acts conceivable.  The ones anyone can conceive, anywhere, in the midst of anything.  Eucharisteo takes us into His love.  I am struck and I long chime:  Daniel is only a man of prayer because he is a man of thanks and the only way to be a woman of prayer is to be a woman of thanks.  And not sporadic, general thanks, but three times a day eucharisteo. (pg. 61, one thousand gifts, Ann Voskamp).

What is bringing you hope?  What are you doing in your expression of thanks?  

Come link up your randomness and thanksgiving this week.


Sunflower Faith said...

That is a very touching post and so sorry to hear about what is going on!
It seems so easy to have those days when the rain seems to be coming down.

I have a copy of the book that was given to me as a gift and its on my nightstand, with me saying to myself, I will read it and I keep going,but I keep saying, "I'm too busy" and as I read your hit me...

THIS is when I should be reading it the most...thank you for the reminder and encouragement and keeping all cover in prayer!

Sherri Davidson said...

Wow what a crazy week. This is why I do Thankful Thursday because sometimes when I do not feel the least bit thankful and I have to sit and think about it I realize just how lucky and blessed I am.
I am often praying for you and your family Michelle.

~Rain``` said...

Thanks for the thoughts. I hardly listen to the news anymore, because it just gets me depressed at the state of life here on sinful earth.

However, I, like you, am aiming to count my blessings more. I've been keeping a list, on and off, in my journal. And it has been good for me.

Btw, it is good to meet someone who is a cautious bandwagon jumper. I'm the same way. :)

Donnetta said...

WOW! That is a lot! May you sense God's arms of comfort and HOPE embrace you in each moment of each day!

Although I haven't officially posted a "list" online, I too have been creating one in my journal. Not in any type of routine, just as my heart is drawn to see the small glimpses and be reminded of His love... grace.

Thank you for sharing the beginnings of your list, and reminding me that it's time I should be adding to mine!


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Alberta, Canada
I'm a 39 year old (oh yeah I'm telling you my age) Stay at Home mom. A former Bad Girl now reformed sinner, I'm married to my Y2K guy and raising 3 great children from God. Proudly Canadian, however, missing the West Coast, I currently live in the prairies watching the farmers fields produce as I learn how God produces the fruits in me.

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