Monday, May 7, 2012

Messy Monday (Tuesday Edition) - Weariness

Messy Mondays where I share what God has been showing me through the messiness of life. It is my personal belief that this walk isn't clean and crisp and straight or narrow. It's wide and twisted and mucky and messy. It's about the ups and the downs, but through it all God is there with us. defines weary as: 
physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.; fatigued; tired
I have to tell you that I am so weary.  I am so tired.  Right now I can't even get the energy to get off the couch and get a snack.  

I have no energy.  The alarm goes off in the morning and a time I was learning to embrace now alludes me.  I can't get up.  I literally have to force myself to get up.  A month ago this was not a problem.

I could blame it on staying up late.  But I, like my kids, can stay up late and for some reason, get up early in the morning.  

I could blame it on working to hard.  Doing to much laundry.  HA!!  Like that would ever happen.  I'm not even working out.  I managed to get myself out of bed at 6:45 am to do a 10 minute work out.  I felt great after and right up until noon, but then I had lunch and that ended my day.

I could say it's because of the kids.  Parenting two boys on the spectrum isn't easy.  But they are easy going kids.  They love to run and play independently.  There are times in the day when the only time I see them is if they want more juice or a snack.   

I'm tired.  I'm exhausted.  I have been praying through this.  He asks us to come to Him, we who are weary.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NIV84
I am praying that His light would shine through the fog.  That His voice will be heard and guide me to peace.  I am reminded of Psalm 23 and hold to it. 

The Lord is my shepherd;
      I have everything I need.
  He lets me rest in fields of green grass
      and leads me to quiet pools of fresh water.
  He gives me new strength.
   He guides me in the right paths,
      as he has promised.
  Even if I go through the deepest darkness,
      I will not be afraid, Lord,
      for you are with me.
   Your shepherd's rod and staff protect me.

  You prepare a banquet for me,
      where all my enemies can see me;
   you welcome me as an honored guest
      and fill my cup to the brim.
  I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life;
      and your house will be my home as long as I live. (Psalm 23 Good News)
 I am going through the deepest darkness right now, but I am not alone.  He alone is guarding me.  He will guide me past the rocks that want to destroy me.  

I am weary.  But My God is mighty.  He will protect me.  He will guide me through this time.  He will refine me.


Andrea M said...

I thought of this verse while reading your post just now:

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

Praying for you, sweetie.

Jedidja said...

Sometimes you're at the end of your power. A cause? Should there be a cause? I hope you slowly climb back out of this Depth. Know that I pray for you. But much better: He prays for us.

I like what Andrea M. says. Isaia 40 is amazing. God is amazing.

kendal said...

i know this pit, michelle. stopping to pray for you right now.

Donnetta said...

How my heart aches for you! I recently went through my own season of deep darkness.

One verse I desperately clung to during that time was I Peter 5:10.

May you find Him to be just as faithful in these days as when the sun is shining bright! And may you find all of His promises to be true, just as He has promised!

{HUGS} and praying even now...

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I'm a 39 year old (oh yeah I'm telling you my age) Stay at Home mom. A former Bad Girl now reformed sinner, I'm married to my Y2K guy and raising 3 great children from God. Proudly Canadian, however, missing the West Coast, I currently live in the prairies watching the farmers fields produce as I learn how God produces the fruits in me.

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