Lost In the Prairies.....Found by God

 

I want to first apologize to all of you.  Last week you all lovingly linked up your randomness.  I had plans on reading the blogs during the weekend and comment on each of them.  Sadly I didn't.  When I finally found the time, linky was being upgraded.  So I did not get a chance to read your blogs.  However, thank you all for linking up faithfully.  It is a joy to see all your smiling faces each week and to read your words.  Many times they are a blessing to me more than you know.   

I'm sitting here writing this and listening to David Bowie's Changes.  I think this will be my theme song for the next few months.  Cindy at She Sparkles wrote about her theme song, so I'm claiming this as my song.  

I love the lines :   Turn and face the strange // Just gonna have to be a different man.  They apply to my life.  Last year at this time if you had told me that my son was autistic, I would have fought you on it.  If you had told me that I would be making appointments with autism services to get him assistance, I would have told you you were crazy.  If you had told me that my little guy was anything less than perfect, then I would have taken you out back and well all you momma bears know what I'm talking about.  But these are things that I have had to realize and had to process these last few months.  It's a lot to take.  The little boy that I had so many dreams and plans for is not the little man that I  have.  Not that I don't have dreams and plans for him, just new plans.  I have had to look at things differently than I did a year ago.  

There have been many glimpses of hope these last two months as well as glimpses of defeat.  We have an assessment date which I have embraced and rejoiced for.  Answers to questions are coming.  I know there will be many more questions, but there will be direction for them.  We've also begun to start the battles.  Which organization will be assisting us.  Yes, we can decide that our son isn't ready for kindergarten.  As I said, it's the beginning of the battle. 

We know what we want for our son and we're willing to fight for it.  The middleman deserves everything possible.  He deserves the best that we can get him.  In that, our family is making a huge life decision.  We have decided to move back to where we moved from.  The province we originally came from has some of the best funding for autism.  The city we are looking at has so many services and support groups compared to one in the city we are living by.  

This is a hard decision.  It is not one we have taken lightly.  We have made many dear friends in our little town.  I will miss my Babes who have lifted me up in prayer, strength and faith when I needed it and while I still need it.  I will miss my little town who has given me such peace.  We are also separating Nic from her friends that she has grown up with for the last 4 years.  This decision has been hard.  But I know it's the decision that we have had to make and that God has lead us to.  There have been too many coincidences and I don't believe in coincidences.  I believe they are things that God shows us where He wants to lead us. 

God has been working within me these last few years.  Teaching me to rely on His strength alone through difficulties and trials.  Guiding me along paths that I did not want to go, but knew I had to take.  Leading me to where He needed me to be.  He has been changing me these last 4 years and I am a different (wo)man.