Lost In the Prairies.....Found by God

I have a confession.  One that I alluded to in yesterday's blog.  One that I've alluded to in Twitter and in Facebook.  I've been under an Ice Fog - both literally, emotionally and spiritually.  As I told a friend:  "There is not enough coffee or chocolate to get me out of it." 

The last two weeks the temperatures around here have dipped as low as -48C with the windchill.  Add to that a few snow storms and you can imagine what it feels like around here.  It's too cold to go out.  It's continually white.  I like snow when it first arrives, it cleans everything up.  However, after three months of continual snow, its overwhelming and drab.  Even the sunny days are horrible, as it seems the sunnier it is the colder it is.  There's no warmth, no colour and no escape. 

A week ago kids had one week off from school.  It also happened to be one our coldest weeks this year.  I was housebound with the kids and it was too cold to do anything.   The kids were bored and irritable and I felt cornered.  It was only time when something was going to give and it was me. 

Emotionally, we've been on the moving roller coaster.  I had forgotten how stressful that could be.  From looking for a new house to preparing our house for sale.  The emotional strain of telling people your moving and having to tell it over and over and over and over ......  There's the meeting with the realtors to value your house.  There's travelling to viewing homes the town we are moving to.  There's the mad dash to declutter and clean and finish all those projects started and not yet completed.  Then there's the packing and that one I don't even want to think about just yet.  

We're almost ready to list the house, which once done will be good.  The stress then will be keeping the house prepared to show.  I've done it before and I know I can do it again.  It will just mean that I'll have to following the tormentor..I meant toddler around and clean up whatever he gets into immediately.  This may actually help my exercise routine.

This all leads to the spiritual fog I've been under.  I know some of it is my own fault.  The clinging to control and trying to rely on my own and not trusting in God to take care of those things that I don't want to let go.  The mispriotizing God in my life.  I have been participating with the Hellomornings ladies through Inspired to Action.  During this time I've been reading my bible for the Bible in 90 Days challenge.  One problem.  I'm reading my bible and I'm doing my study in the mornings, but I'm not praying like I had been.  It's like I've been learning more about God, but ignoring my relationship with Him at the same time.  

All this was finally pressed upon me this weekend.  The fact that I need to STOP!  Stop ignoring my relationship with God.  Stop and rest when I need rest.  Stop and ask for help and not trying to do it all on my own.  Stop whining about the weather and just deal with it as it isn't going to change unless Global Warming happens in the next day or two.  

I've started reading Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore.  Because this is exactly where I've landed in a cold snowy emotionally debilitating pit.  I can actually feel myself sliding down further when I struggle to get out on my own.  But this last week I've been asking God to reach out.  Today while reading Lamentations (I know I'm a day behind), I read :

I'm so thankful that it's March.  February started off great and ended with a big blob!  Namely me feeling defeated, hurt, alone, and the dreaded word I hate to admit....depressed.  I am going to forget what I didn't get accomplished in February.  I am starting fresh in March with new goals (ok one is old, but it's one I'm determined to complete) and new focus and purpose.

My goals for this month are:

1.  No Yelling - The goal that I wanted the most to complete but after a "winter break," two preschoolers and a sick toddler, I did not make it past week two.  I know I've already had to raise my voice a few times, but for the most part, I haven't had to yell yet.  It has also become my new threat to the kids - "Do you want me to yell?"  The answer is always no, so it keeps me focused and reminds them what it's like when mommy is out of control. 

2.  Purge toys - Since we are moving, I don't want to move all the toys we have accumulated.  No matter which house we decide upon, we will most likely have less storage space and therefore, I needed to purge our homes of toys.  We have so many that I think we can get rid of 1/2 of them and still have lots for the children to play with.  The boys both have birthdays this month,  so I know new ones are coming as well.  The baby toys definitely will be purged.  I will keep a few for guests, but really, since they aren't being played with they are not getting packed.  I need to set up some kind of rules for the purge like not played with in 6 months equals being purged or not age appropriate means being purged or  how many match box cars do we need.  If any of you have any other suggestions I'll gladly take them.

3.  Set office times - This last month, it has occurred to me that I need to  XX set aside times to blog.  It is more often or not that I end up writing many of my blogs at 10 pm in the evening or it takes me 7 to 8 hours to type a blog,.  Some of the reasons for this is because of distractions (the kids, telephone, books, etc..), mostly just my habit of procrastination.  I was a serious crammer in school.  For me to grow my blog, I need to start putting some time into it and I need to make it a priority in my schedule, not an after thought.  I will be working through Amy Bayliss' 31 Days of Heart Matters - Ministry On Line to guide me on my walk with my blog.  I'm also considering a make over, but haven't totally decided on that one yet.

March will be the month that I'll get back on track and "persevere" through the "ice" fog that has indelibly settled in around here.  I'm focusing up and not out.  I going to using my goals to assist me in this.  I know March will be a great month.  

I know its late, but.......

Since January 19, members of Al-Shabaab, an Islamic Somali extremist group, have confiscated eight farms from Muslims who showed an interest in Christianity. Christian converts from Islam owned five of the farms and three belonged to Muslims who had attended Bible studies in the cities of Afgoye and Baidawa. Most of the landowners have fled their homes and remain in hiding. There are also unconfirmed reports of additional Christian farm seizures in Dinsor and Burhakaba districts. The confiscated lands were given to businesspersons who regularly donate to Al-Shabaab.

The Islamic group has vowed to cleanse Somalia of any Christian influence. Since January 2009, Al-Shabaab militants have killed 23 Christians, most of whom were church leaders. Militants have also desecrated three Christian cemeteries in Mogadishu and destroyed a Christian library in the Luuq district. Despite intense persecution from Muslim radicals, the Somali Church has demonstrated remarkable growth.

Pray the Lord will provide for those who have lost their land. May His provision be evidence of the Lord's goodness and mercy to those who have yet to put their hope in Christ.

Pray the Lord will bring about significant change in the culture and attitudes in the leaders of this nation.

Pray His Church will continue to grow in spite of the opposition.