Thursday, October 14, 2010

Caffeinated Randomness: The King, The Sword & The Bathroom

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As I mentioned in a recent post, my Babes and I are working through "Java with the Judges" by Sandra Glahn.  During our first study, we came across a story that made us laugh.  It's the story of Ehud.

Once again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD, and because they did this evil the LORD gave Eglon king of Moab power over Israel. Getting the Ammonites and Amalekites to join him, Eglon came and attacked Israel, and they took possession of the City of Palms. The Israelites were subject to Eglon king of Moab for eighteen years.
Again the Israelites cried out to the LORD, and he gave them a deliverer—Ehud, a left-handed man, the son of Gera the Benjamite. The Israelites sent him with tribute to Eglon king of Moab.  Now Ehud had made a double-edged sword about a foot and a half  long, which he strapped to his right thigh under his clothing.  He presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab, who was a very fat man.  After Ehud had presented the tribute, he sent on their way the men who had carried it. At the idols near Gilgal he himself turned back and said, "I have a secret message for you, O king."  The king said, "Quiet!" And all his attendants left him.
Ehud then approached him while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his summer palace  and said, "I have a message from God for you." As the king rose from his seat,  Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly.  Even the handle sank in after the blade, which came out his back. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it.  Then Ehud went out to the porch ; he shut the doors of the upper room behind him and locked them.
After he had gone, the servants came and found the doors of the upper room locked. They said, "He must be relieving himself in the inner room of the house." They waited to the point of embarrassment, but when he did not open the doors of the room, they took a key and unlocked them. There they saw their lord fallen to the floor, dead.
While they waited, Ehud got away. He passed by the idols and escaped to Seirah.  When he arrived there, he blew a trumpet in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites went down with him from the hills, with him leading them. (Judges 3: 12-27 NIV)
One of the Babes wanted to know how fat was the King that the fat would close in over it?  I'm thinking Jabba the Hut fat.   I giggled over the servants thinking he was on the "john!"  (I know childish, but I wasn't the only one.)

It started me thinking about all those weird little obscure stories in the Bible, like:

1.  God almost killing Moses until his wife circumcises their son (Exodus 4:24-26);

2.  The Gibeonites in Joshua 9 who deceived Israel by wearing old clothes and bringing moldy bread; and

3   Shamgar and his oxgoad (Judges 3:31)

Then we have some of the larger known stories like Jael and her hammer, Lot and his daughters and Salome and her "dance".

Before I became a Christian, the only Bible stories I knew were Moses and the 10 Commandments (thank you, Charleton Heston), David and Goliath and the Christmas & Easter stories respectively.  I had heard the names Jezebel and Delilah but through Bette Davis and Tom Jones.  Now that I've become a Christian and read my Bible, I'm continually shocked with all the violence, sex and deception in it.  Days of our  Lives and Young and the Restless have nothing on the Bible.   However, what other book reveals God love and ultimate sacrifice to redeem his children, no matter what they have done. 

So, tell me:  What's your favourite obscure Bible Story? 


Natalie at Mommy on Fire said...

Hi, Michelle! I hear you - I wasn't raised in a church-going family either. I knew some of the more obvious stories, like you, but not the obscure ones.

I just read the story of Tamar and how she was raped by her brother. She then spent the rest of her life as a desolate woman living with her other brother. She was never able to marry or go on to have any kind of life.

It made me realize that this happens to so many - they thing they are beyond repair and choose to live a life of sadness, despair, negativity, and hopelessness. I always pray for these people because they don't need to carry these burdens and pains alone, you know?

Great post, Michelle! Have a wonderful weekend!

Pat said...

My favorite is the one of Eutychus falling asleep during Paul's sermon at Troas. It said he spoke til midnight and Eutychus fell into a deep sleep and fell 3 stories and died. You'd think this would discourage people from falling asleep in church:)

Jen said...

I don't know the answer to your question. My brain is not working and honestly, I suppose I feel a bit convicted that I don't really know a lot of the obscure people. But, I'm now reading the 365 bible, so I will get to all of them eventually!

Denise said...

God is a God of details.

i honestly don't recall ever reading this story, how could i have forgotten it!

and i too have said many times that day time soaps are no where near as scandalous as reading the bible!

Anonymous said...

I'm with Pat - but I always take the moral of that one to be about not making your sermons so long! :P

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