Tuesday, November 23, 2010

ALL the Pieces

The Babes and I have started a new study, Beth Moore's, David:  Seeking a Heart Like His.  I've read some of her work, but I've never done a Beth Moore study.  I've heard lots about them and so, I'm excited and apprehensive about this journey I'm taking.  I know that this study is going to push me to places I don't know if I want to go, but I know that I need to go.  Ok, to be open and honest with you, I have to inform you that I'm only on day 1 while I'm writing this.  I've already laughed and questioned my own walk all within 55 minutes.

This evening (Monday night), I've been reflecting on the question Beth poses in Day 1 regarding my relationship with God - How often would you describe yourself as being with God heart and soul? Before I go there, you need to read 1 Samuel 14 v 6-7.  This is where Jonathan and his armour bearer are going to go fight the Philistines "single handedly."  Jonathan lets his armour bearer know what they're going to do (v. 6).  The response of the armour bearer shows his complete trust - not just with Jonathan, but with God.  "Do all you have in mind.....Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul."

Heart and Soul - reflect on that for a minute.  We are called to love God with all our heart and soul (Deuteronomy 6:5).  Notice the ALL.  That's where my answer to the aforementioned question comes to play.  How would I describe myself as being with God heart and soul.  Often - Not likely.  If you could all see my prayer journal and see how often I've given my "all" to God, you may be shocked.  There are a lot of holes in that calendar.  After reading this, rarely is not an answer as I have maintained somewhat of a regular dialogue with God.  Occasionally - BINGO!

Occasionally - I put God in a pretty box that I keep at arms reach and sometimes I give Him my heart and soul.  Unfortunately, more often than not, I give Him only a part of me.  Not the complete me: the broken, hurt, lonely, shamed, messy me.  I give Him what I like to refer to as the "face."  The image of me that I want to be:  the quiet, meek, humble, compassionate me.  In giving only this part of me though, I'm only hurting me. I'm not opening myself up to ALL that God has for me.  I'm not allowing Him to complete me the only way He can (think Jerry Maguire but on a spiritual level).

God wants each of us to give our all to Him so he can give His ALL to us.  If we can't do this than we will miss out on so many of the blessings that He has for us.  Starting today and through this study, I am going to give God the messy, broken, hurt, lonely, and shamed Michelle in all her brutal glory for He is the only one who can fix her and put the pieces back together.  He will complete me in His time and His way and in that I'm excited.

 I'm linking up with Jen at Finding Heaven for the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood.



10 comments:

Jen said...

I have done several Beth Moore studies and all of them have touched my heart deeply in one way or another. I've not done the David one yet, but I hear that it is wonderful.

I think you are right -- so often we hide parts of ourselves from God, even though He clearly sees them. But, when we offer them to the Light, when we give them freely to Him to fix, those things that make us broken begin to fall away through a process that in the end, makes us so much stronger in Him. We hide because we are ashamed and yet, I think He desires to bring Him our brokenness because it shows that we trust Him.

stephanie said...

There is so much freedom when we give Him our all and let His light penetrate and heal the dark places!

Andi said...

Great post. Thank you for sharing. Today I started reading Kay Arthur's "How to Study the Bible." It belonged to my husband's grandma, and his aunt gave me all of her Bible study material. It's so fun to run into a little note she jotted to herself as I study God's word. Sadly, the first thing I realized is I don't spend enough time in prayer before I open the Bible, and I hope God will "speak to me." Sad sad.

On a completely irrelevant note, that picture of the woman with the puzzle piece? I am obsessed that I can't figure out how that piece fits...Is it because it represents all of the worldly things we try to fill our holes in our life up with, but will never truly fit, so we need to look to God to fill in the empty spaces? Is it that deep, or have I had too many cups of coffee this morning?

LOL

Amy Sullivan said...

Michelle,
Your image of the puzzle person goes perfectly with this!

Yes, I want to give God the shiny, well-behaved, sparkling version of me. It's not like God doesn't know about the other not-as-shiny self...

Erin @itsgrace.com said...

Michelle, I loved this. Thank you for putting yourself out there.

If you read my post today, you know I'm in a season of not awesome things. You have inspired me to get off my rear and do a Bible Study. Whether it's alone or with a friend, I need to do it. That fellowship and time of worship and learning is missing, and I need it back.

And my prayer for you is that He will show you how to step forth and surrender all of you to all of Him.

Erin

kendal said...

enjoy the study. laugh, weep, learn, grow.

Emily @ rivendellchick said...

I haven't done Beth Moore's study of David before, but I do love the story of David! David struggled too to keep all his heart on God. The Psalms are like your journal: Declarations of open faithfulness, brokeness over sin, and rejoicing in forgiveness and restitution.

I find so much comfort that this "man after God's own heart" struggled with periods of waiting and disappointment and struggled with sin because I think being after God's heart doesn't mean we never struggle, it just means we persevere in reaching out to Him and seeking His face, even when we've fallen. (How's that for a run on sentence?)

Thank you for sharing your heart, and it's beautiful! :)

~Rain``` said...

Thanks Michelle. I needed the reminder today.

Critty said...

I do the box thing too. I have heard such good things about that study and the challenges that came from it. I love knowing I am not alone in this...the trying to hide. I read a quote the other day that said God cannot heal our brokenness because we do not want to admit to being broken in the first place. Such truth there.

You thoughts encouraged me...and challenged me :)

Mama Abby said...

I love this Michelle...this is what it is to be His...the hurting broken messy...once you 'go there' and see His beauty touch you really don't want any other way of being His. I hope you keep sharing about this, it will be beautiful to see how He works:) be blessed:)

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I'm a 39 year old (oh yeah I'm telling you my age) Stay at Home mom. A former Bad Girl now reformed sinner, I'm married to my Y2K guy and raising 3 great children from God. Proudly Canadian, however, missing the West Coast, I currently live in the prairies watching the farmers fields produce as I learn how God produces the fruits in me.

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