Thursday, October 27, 2011

Caffeinated Randomness - Different, but Same


This week I was talking to my evil twin about my blog post on Tuesday.  We had some great discussion about inclusion.  Then she posed this question to me:  "Why is it that we spend so much time saying we are different, yet when someone who really is different comes along we spurn them?"  Can you say hit me with a 2x4.  

We are raised to be independent people.  To have our own thoughts, beliefs, and sometimes ideals.  We are taught that not everyone is the same.  We are taught to embrace our differences.  I know as a mom, I want my children to be leaders.  I want them to be themselves.  I don't want them to do what the other kids are doing.  I love that my daughter is into dinosaurs rather than Hannah Montana, Selena Gomez or Justin What's His Name.  I love that Middleman is into Transformers and Rescue Heroes and loves to play with his sister.  I love that he loves to play with his friend Sarah by running up and down the hills.  Tormentinator is already forming his own personality.  He is my stocky little battle ax.  He is stubborn, yet so loving all at once.  He wants to play with his brother and sister and isn't really afraid of anything.  

Saying all this though, I worry that they don't fit in.  The Princess is struggling gaining friends out here.  She is struggling with being the only one who doesn't really have a best friend to play with daily.  She has had a great core group of friends to lean on and play with.  She was never alone.  Middleman has his own struggles with his disability and it makes it hard to communicate with his peers.  His friend Sarah is a little girl in grade 4 who had a disability as well and has no friends her own age.  Tormentinator doesn't have anyone his own age to play with and since he also does not communicate vocally, he struggles to play with others his own age.  The very thing I love about each of them and encourage, is also the very thing I worry about and wish that they would fit in.   Why?

What is it in each of us that we want to be different?  Yet we also don't like it when someone different comes around.  What is it that makes us really want to be sheep being lead down the path?  What is it that we have expectations and beliefs that make us want to put the square peg into the square hole and that A + B = C?  Why do we make fun of those who are different; who don't look or think or act as we do?  When does this start?  Is it nature or nurture?  I don't have the answers to these questions.  I don't even know if I want the answers.  

Just as each of us wants to be different and encourage this in our children.  Really, we just want to be the same.

Come join into the randomness and express your difference.


Bonnie said...

I go through these thoughts everyday! My oldest sounds alot like your daughter. I am so proud of him in so many ways yet saddened that he doesn't ever click with one student to be his buddy. It really doesn't bother him, or so I think.

I refuse to follow the pack of people who care so much about the worldly things. Even thought it's hard I like to keep my eyes focused on something bigger.

Anonymous said...

I think the trick is looking at one another through God's eyes. Not that it is easy!! But if we can somehow get into the habit of seeing each person the way God sees them, differences and all, our tendency to want to shun people who are different than us will fall away. If only it were as easy to do as it is to type! You know what though, you are doing such an awesome job raising your kids to be true to who God made them to be, and accepting of those around them. It may tough for them as kids, but as adults they will have richer and more developed relationships with their peers. Sometimes I have to remind myself that while it's difficult for me to watch my kids struggle as kids, ultimately the goal is to help them grow into those kind of adults.

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I'm a 39 year old (oh yeah I'm telling you my age) Stay at Home mom. A former Bad Girl now reformed sinner, I'm married to my Y2K guy and raising 3 great children from God. Proudly Canadian, however, missing the West Coast, I currently live in the prairies watching the farmers fields produce as I learn how God produces the fruits in me.

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