Monday, January 17, 2011

Being honest....

Since participating in the Bible in 90 Days challenge (you guys are going to hate hearing about this by the end of the 90 days) and through the Babes study of David, I have been challenged with my relationship with God.  There have been some good days and some bad.  There have been days where I've wanted to walk away, but I have persevered.  I have gotten mad at God.  I've questioned God.  I've cried with God,.  I've laughed with God.  I've had some Ah-Ha moments with God.  I have had a rainbow of emotions with Him. 

I couldn't say two years ago that I had this kind of relationship with Him.  I couldn't even say I had this relationship with Him a month ago.  This relationship is growing.   It is a continual learning experience on my side.  I've become more open to Him and willing to humble myself more to His will in my life, as well as handing Him the keys to my life.  This is a big step.  I am a control freak and planner.  I like to have a plan for everything.  By letting Him have control, I'm saying He's the priority.  He's the master.  

I'm sharing one of the first posts I ever wrote at Lost in the Prairies today, where I wrote about the beginning of my being open to God and His plan in my life. 
He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, "Ephphatha!" (which means, "Be opened!" ). Mark 7 v 34

I read this verse this morning during my daily devotion and it has stayed with me since. Be open. Some of my friends would say I'm an open book. I am known as a talker (LOL). I couldn't get away with anything when I was a kid as I was a poor liar. You ask me something and I'll answer it "truthfully." I say truthfully because if someone asks about my past or present, I'll answer honestly but on a need to know basis. For example, I'll tell people my grandparents raised me, but I won't elaborate on the why (future posts). What people don't know is that there is a wall around me that has some cracks, but I've pretty well fortified it so that most people don't see the hurt and pain behind it.

I feel God placed this verse upon me today, not just to be open to others, but to be open to Him. I've even kept Him at a distance. The one who should be the closest, the one who I can be totally honest with because He knows all, is the one I definitely keep at arms reach. God is Abba, the Father who doesn't accuse, doesn't lie, doesn't neglect us, doesn't abandon us. He is always there, always present, always loving. If we allow Him past the wall. I've been slowly tearing down this wall. Some days I take down 2 bricks, some days I add a few more. It is a slow and long process as I learn to trust Him with everything and give Him the controls.

Each one of us needs to keep God closest to us and lay at His feet our hurts, pains, sorrows, and joys. Through prayer and reading His word we can be "Ephphatha!"
In the spritit of being Ephphatha not just to God, but also to all of you, I would like all my bloggy sisters to post a question in their comments for me to answer this Friday for Caffeinated Randomness.  I look forward to sharing some more about me with you.

I'm linking up today with Jen at Finding Heaven with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood.


kendal said...

awesome post! you usually post about a place on wednesdays. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? why?

Jen said...

I've wondered why you signed the posts with "Ephphatha!" and now I know. So glad you shared this today -- it really blessed me.

Hmmm, question for Michelle? What you do you think you struggle with most as a parent? What is your greatest strength?

Anonymous said...

You're having coffee at Starbucks with your spiritual hero - who is it, and what do you two chat about? (also, can I come?!)

Anonymous said...

It is not easy to keep Him at a distance...yet we do this all the time, when we allow other things get in front of Him.

Great post! Thank you for stopping by the cottage.


Amy Sullivan said...

"I have had a rainbow of emotions with Him." I part of me thinks that if we don't have that rainbow that maybe we aren't growing. ?? Maybe.

It's Grace said...

I love this, and I'm so excited for you! Isn't it exciting when our relationship with Him grows?

I'm feeling challenged just reading your post, and I needed that..thank you!!

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Alberta, Canada
I'm a 39 year old (oh yeah I'm telling you my age) Stay at Home mom. A former Bad Girl now reformed sinner, I'm married to my Y2K guy and raising 3 great children from God. Proudly Canadian, however, missing the West Coast, I currently live in the prairies watching the farmers fields produce as I learn how God produces the fruits in me.

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